Obnoxiousness Ad Nauseum
The title to this post is not meant to be directed at Mr. Allen Krause, though it certainly could be, because he most definitely is obnoxious (see his malcontented swipe at the Show-Me-State for more info — or don’t, you’ll be happier if you don’t). Obnoxiousness ad nauseum, in this case, is a perfect summarization of the Cubs faithful who show up game after game to get wasted and occasionally look up to see who’s playing.
I know, I know. Not all Cubs fans are like that — and you’re probably right — but it only takes one to create the illusion that they’re all alike. Marty Brennaman sure got that impression when bleacher bums (*synonym for alcoholics) threw 15 baseballs on to the field after an Adam Dunn homerun yesterday. Whether it’s heaving baseballs, trash (*exclusive video here), beer bottles at Jacque Jones’ head or dashing on to the field in an attempt to destroy Bob Howry, Cub fans are great at getting out of hand.
During the season, I try very hard not to be in Wrigleyville if I don’t have to be when games are going on — unless I’m actually attending the game. When I do go, I make sure to wear layers and pack hardcover books under my shirt (to ward off any stabbing attempts). Two weeks ago I had to be in the neighborhood. I happened to be wearing a pink shirt that day because I look good in pink and I’m proud to say it. I got out of the cab and before I could take two steps towards the curb, some drunken idiot with an Aramis Ramirez jersey gave me a violent push to the chest saying, “Get out of here, F^g.”
Nice. Real nice.
I hope they rename it “Moronville Field”.
Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.