Countdown to Incompetence Part II: Beyond Squeamish

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barney_Frank.jpgThought it couldn’t get any worse? 

Wrong.  It can.  It will.  US Americans will suffer

Dear readers, another day is gone; the Cardinals bullpen still su<ks.  And somehow, John Mozeliak still manages to keep a smile on his face.  Perhaps he heard about Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank’s new proposal and decided to get a head start on my aura.  That’s the only reason I can think of that would somewhat adequately explain Mozeliak’s easy-going penchant for incompetence.

Well, I’m just sick about it. 

The Cardinals had to score five runs in the 9th last night to secure a victory because the gods knew a one-run lead wouldn’t be enough.  But how long can one expect the Cardinals to do this?  How often will the Cubs and Brewers spot us a five-run lead going into the late innings of a game? 

passed.out.jpgWhen a team has already recorded over 20 blown saves midway through the season, it’s hard not to find its fans puking in the street.  Yesterday, I was moved to illustrate my queasy frustrations with a Corey Feldman video that makes me equally — if not more — uncomfortable. 

But that was yesterday.  Things have gotten a lot worse since then.  With one day left until the trade deadline, I’m afraid watching the Cardinals attempt to hold close leads will now make me as uncomfortable as I feel watching this:

**Warning!** The two minutes and twelve seconds you are about to lose from your life can not ever be replaced. You may or may not leave the video a lesser man/woman.

Have you lost your appetite, dear reader?  Now you know how I feel.


Thumbnail image for john_mozeliak.jpgThis must stop.  Mozeliak, be a man.  Don’t send the fans, the men who wear birds on the bat, and TLR the wrong message.  Prove to us that you want to win and you want to win now.

I don’t just speak for myself.  I speak for Red States, Blue States, all the States of US America.  Mr. Mozeliak, you can hate me ‘cuz I’m an ^sshole and you can surely hate me ‘cuz I’m a closet Corey Feldman fan, but please don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

6 Comments

That’s abuse I couldn’t make it thru the whole thing

I am trying to start a John Mozeliak day at my work. I have proposed to my superiors to start the John Mozeliak day once per month. It will be great. On John Mozeliak day, we will not have to do anything and still get paid for it…

My god. Was that video taken in an old-folks home? Cause there were a bunch of old people and no one stood up, so it sure as hell wasn’t a concert.

Baba — sorry you had to go through that. It was hard on me too.
Tim — that’s an excellent idea. I too plan to sit around and do nothing and hope that my competitors – who are busy spending money to be better than I – just happen to fall out (which they won’t). Shame on Mozeliak. Shame, shame, shame.
NMYF — I think the only audience willing to witness that in person would have to be senile octogenarians. Again, I apologize for putting you through that, but now you know how it feels to root for a team that doesn’t care about you.
–Jeff

OMG. I am having like the worst 80’s flashback. You’re killing me. Now I look like your “passed out” photo…please, please make the little Cory voices in my head STOP! Arrgh! ….. hee!

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Oh god, I’d consider watching Ryan Franklin close out a one run game against the Cubs, rather than watching that again. Well, Dane Sardinha got called up again. Ugh.

Aaron
http://districtboy.mlblogs.com/

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