The Crying Game Revisited
Let us take a look at who’s crying about nonsensical surface crap today:
Hillary Clinton: “I wasn’t even vetted”
So? Who cares? You lost the primary. Get it? You lost. That means: you didn’t win. Why not being chosen as the party’s candidate should make you an automatic lock to be vetted for V.P. is beyond me. US America already decided that you weren’t the one to represent, so why should you be considered for the position? Since when does losing make you eligible to be second in command?
The answer: it doesn’t.
Those Who Won’t Accept the Fact that Money Can’t Buy Everything
Finally, it ain’t all about the benjamins, folks. The Yankees, the Tigers… they’re not going to make the playoffs this year despite their big fat payrolls. This makes me extremely happy. Now you know how it feels — Yankee fans — to be a midwesterner rooting for a small market team. How you’re feeling right now is how we feel almost every year. Doesn’t feel very good, does it? Well, now you know. Oh… and Tiger fans… you know this feeling all too well; it’s just extra special sad for you this year since you decided to pretend to be the Yankees with your wallets this season. Whoops.
Cub Fans Who Are Upset that they Haven’t Been Crowned World Series Champs Yet
Look, I get it. The Cubs are good this year. They’re really good. As much as I hate to admit it, you won’t get an argument out of me. The thing is (and believe me, I know: see St. Louis Cardinals 2004, 2005 as to why): you have to play through August and then September and then the playoffs (NLDS, NLCS, WS) and then you have to win all of those series too to be considered the World Series Champs. You can’t just go and crown yourselves with six weeks left to play. My advice to you? Chill the hell out. Let the Cardinals and Brewers battle for the Wild Card and just be glad you’ve made it this far because we all know the Cubs — if anything — will always be the Cubs (double meaning intended).
Cry all you want, but don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.