Exclusive “W” Speech Preview

george w bush.jpgOur undistinguished, verbally challenged dear leader will be giving a very important speech on the maligned state of the economy later this evening.  As an integral cog in the wheel of fast-forward journalism, RSBS was able to acquire an advanced copy of the speech by wielding its magical charm and flashing our telltale aura.  After a thorough study, we feel it is our civic baseball-politico duty to go ahead and give you, dear reader, a short preview of W’s finer points to come:

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“The economy?  Yeah.  It’s bad.  Surprised?  That’s what I do.  Remember the Rangers?  That was my team.  I owned it.  Y’ever want to cry about something, cry about that… yeah, you… what?  It’s called baseball.  Sometimes you win… sometimes… sometimes you don’t win and sometimes, well, it rains.”

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“Sarah Palin… yeah… she’s a hottie.  She’ll do alright here in my house.  She will.  Trust me.  I’m from Texas.”

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“You really want to vote in someone with the middle name Hussein?  Don’t you read your emails?  I do.  That’s what a president does.  He reads.  Have you read Green Eggs and Ham?  You should.  If you don’t you’re what I call un-American.”

- – - – - –

“You shouldn’t be focussed or worried on the economy.  We will bail those companies out.  And if I can get congress to get on board, we’ll also bail out the Montreal Ex– er, I mean, the Washington Nationals.  And the Pirates.  And maybe the Yankees.”

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“John McCain.  Vote for him.  Remember, I still have my finger on the red button until January so don’t mess with me.  Don’t mess with Texas.”

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“I’m tired of hearing about red states and blue states.  Put ‘em together and whadya get?  Purple states.  And that’s our color.  Purple.  Let’s just be purple.”

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“Life ain’t all that bad, people.  Don’t you pay attention to the Cubs?  They’re good this year.  I predict they win the Stanley Cup.”

- – - – - –

“Did I mention that Sarah Palin’s hot?”

- – - – - –

“The war on terror costs money.  So get over it.”

- – - – - –

“Don’t take your money out of the banks.  Leave it there.  I may need to use it later in Iran.  Guess you could call that one of the perks of being the bossman.  Hehe.  I get to use your money and you can’t do nothin’ about it.  Sure, you can vote for the other guy, but you did that already and I still won.  Ha!  Straight shooter!”

- – - – - –

So there you have it folks.  Consider yourselves forewarned and don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

10 Comments

Favorite line? Cubs winning the Stanley Cup.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

“Just be purple” LOL.
I gotta say Jeff, your posts never fail to make me laugh.
V – http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com

Great post!!! I could even hear the Bush laugh, “hehehe”. And thanks to your Cardinals for helping us shrink that magic number to 3. Those Dbacks are the worst in the 9th inning, they never know when to quit.
- John
http://northstateblues.mlblogs.com

Very funny stuff! But, watching Bush last night was more exciting than watching my Tigers get pounded by Kansas City!
~Skip
http://skiponsecond.mlblogs.com/

Jane, V, John, Skip… thanks for stopping by. I too predict the Cubs to win the Stanley Cup (the ‘hawks are playing a game against the Redwings at Wrigley Field this coming season) and the world WOULD be a better place if we were all purple. Skip, you will probably relate to my Tiger-lovin’ cohort, Allen. But hey, at least Matt Millen doesn’t run the Tigers… OR the LIONS anymore!
–Jeff

Good point Jeff! Now I CAN see that there is a silver lining around this dark cloud! :-)
~Skip
http://skiponsecond.mlblogs.com/

I of course bear no ill will to the Cardinals for destroying the D-Backs last faint hopes of making the play offs. On a seperate issue I have deleted your blog from my recommended list.

http://arizonaviaslough.blogspot.com/

Russell, you just made me cry. And then I realized you were joking. Go Redbirds! Down with the Snakes!
–Jeff

I thought he had that “damn, and I was almost out of here before the **** storm hit” look last night.

Michael Norton
Some Clubhouse

Hilarious video of Bush. Our beloved, fearless leader.
http://newmexicanyanksfan.mlblogs.com

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