Misery, Thy Name is Detroit

First of all, Mr. Lung, to answer one of your questions, no, I did not score a “perfect 100″ on my citizenship test. You know why? Because I was born here so I don’t have pass a citizenship test. What did you score on yours? Oh right. You didn’t have to take one either. Typical red state attempt to reframe a debate.

Now, I’d like to point out once again that I don’t wish to take anything away from Albert and Pedroia’s accomplishments. But, the fact is, neither of them deserved the MVP for this year. It’s like Denzel Washington winning the Oscar for Training Day. He’s a great actor but giving him the honor for inferior work doesn’t justify anything.

Honestly, it’s almost as bad as this ongoing sportsboy fascination with Erin Andrews. Sure, even I admit that she’s attractive when you place in her in the pantheon of female sideline reporters. But, when your competition is Suzy Kolber and Holly Rowe, how hard can it be?
Erin Andrews Phone.jpg
Thanks to Deadspin

However, despite our disagreement on all things EA and your obvious naivete when it comes to the postseason awards, there is one area where we agree and, although I hate to say it, where we also agree with Mitt Romney. Detroit is America’s Somalia, a failed-state. I mean, can you think of a more dysfunctional area? Not only is the auto industry teetering on the brink of total collapse, there’s really nothing else to cling onto. Well, maybe except guns and religion.

Look at the situation. The University of Michigan football team just succeeded in having the worst season in school history. The Lions have an excellent shot at ending 0-16 and making official what Lions fans have known for a long time: this really is one of the worst teams ever. And what more can I say about the Tigers that I haven’t already said. Farnsworth? No, Detroit and indeed the entire state of Michigan is just one big wasteland. But, I have an idea.

As more and more people start to realize that the Big 3 entering Chapter 11 bankruptcy and restructuring their enormous liabilities isn’t such a bad idea, maybe it’s time for some of the area’s sports teams to do the same. Would it really be so bad if Detroit gave up their NFL franchise to a place like LA and then started over from scratch? You can’t tell me there’s anyone on that team who’s really worth keeping around. And maybe the Tigers don’t need to declare bankruptcy but they’re starting to look as top-heavy as GM. Any student in Accounting 101 can tell you that too many libailities when paired up with too few assets makes for a really bad situation. And although U of M brought in new management, it doesn’t really work so well when that manager can’t adjust their style to fit the personnel they have on hand.

So, it’s about time for Detroit to do with it’s sports what it did to it’s equally cack-handed former mayor. Indict ‘em, convict ‘em and then clean ‘em up. That’s change I can believe in.

-A

3 Comments

Wow, tough day in Detroit? I’ll have to agree with your comments on the Big 3 automakers, not sure how I feel about the Lions leaving Detroit. Does LA really need another football team? (How about FL – I mean can three football teams really be enough?) But I will have to disagree with you assesment of Dustin Pedroia. You relate it to Denzel Washington getting the Oscar for inferior work. Was the movie inferior or his work? In either case – I will take issue. If you are impling that Dustin had great work on an inferior team (ie – the Red Sox were inferior last year) – do you really want to go there? The Red Sox, in the most competitive division, did something that few World Series teams have done. They made it back to the playoffs and came within one game of making it back to the World Series. If your issue is that Dustin’s work was inferior, I would ask you the same question that I ask the reporter for the Dallas Morning News -did you actually watch any Red Sox games. Dustin derserve to win the MVP. Enough said.
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

I wholeheartedly agree with Julia. Eat it, Allen.
–Jeff

I agree with Allen about Training Day. Denzel (a Yankee fan, btw) deserved to win the Oscar not for that film but for Spike Lee’s Malcolm X. I still haven’t gotten over the injustice of it all!

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

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