The King and Jeff

bkflame.jpgI wish I was the kind of person who enjoyed aiming low blows at my friends. I’d like to be able to question why someone who will turn 30 thirteen
short days after me is counting down the days to my own birthday. I wish I could sit here and wonder out loud if my friend not having a girlfriend for the last several years somehow affected his cognitive skills. It would be great to openly wonder why he thinks that dousing himself in the smell of BK is effective for picking up women. But, I’m not that kind of person. I’m a real friend.

So, I’m not going to address the spurious accusations made at my expense yesterday. It would be demeaning to all of us and the work we do if I pointed out that most of the baseball intelligentsia thought the Tigers would win the World Series last year and concluded that Dave Dombrowski had hoodwinked the entire league with his off-season moves. I’d be doing no one a favor by saying that Detroit and the state of Michigan have been suffering since the 70′s (just watch The Crow, Gran Torino or Eight Mile to see what I’m talking about) and it’s only natural that its residents hopelessness would also be reflected in their view of sporting pursuits.

No, I refuse to debase myself in the same way as my friend. Instead, in the spirit of this new year full of hope and change, I’m going to say, “good luck, Jeffery.” I hope the Cardinals pick up some relief pitching so AP’s offense isn’t wasted. I hope that 30 treats you well and really is the new 21. And I hope that you go on a date. Seriously, though, you gotta rid of the BK cologne first.

-A

9 Comments

Allen, the maturity you show is refreshing. Shall I assume that we will hear later about your love life as well? And I guess I need to ask you as well, where should I send Jeff’s birthday present? He did, after all, provide an address for me to use for your gift.

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Julia, you’ll will hear all about it… stay tuned ;-)
–Jeff
PS, what’s wrong with the BK scent?

Mr Krause, Thank you for elevating the level of discourse at this pig trough. And thank you for your service.

http://diamondhacks.blogspot.com/

I feel the love between you two right now, and it’s beautiful. I’m choked up as I write this. Peace.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

You can sell that rights to this blog as a modern version of Oscar and Felix in the technological age. Good stuff.

Greg
Red Sox Ramblings: http://thevendahhh.mlblogs.com

Jane, yes, there’s love… in a weird brotherly sorta way ;-)
And yes, Greg, I believe you’re right. I’m guessing Allen would be Walter Mathau.
–Jeff

Now don’t get too down on Michigan it had a song about it “Especially in Michigan” on the last Chili Pepper album. Great tune on a great album if I may say so.

“Life is my friend
Rake it up to take it in
Wrap me in your cinnamon
Especially in Michigan
…well I could be your friend

White clouds I’m in
A mitten full of fisherman
C’mon Huckleberry Finn
Show me how to make her grin
…well I’m in Michigan

Cry me a future
Where the revelations run amok
Ladies and gentlemen
Lions and tigers come running
Just to steal your luck”

Not too shabby. Colorado hasn’t really had anything since Ol’ Johnny Denver put out Rocky Mountain High but he had to fly into a mountain and down went our number one songwriter. The Peppers are on “hiatus” but you got love and you still may get more from them!
Tom
http://rockymountainway.mlblogs.com

Devil’s Advocate here and wishing Eminem would get back to work:

From “Lose Yourself” (8 Mile)

“I’ve got to formulate a plot ‘fore I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherf***ing option, failure’s not
Mom, I love you, but this trailer’s got to go
I cannot grow old in ‘salem’s lot
So here I go its my shot
Feet fail me not cause it maybe the only opportunity I got.

Steve T
http://soxblog.mlblogs.com

Wow, fellas. Nice work. All I can say in response is “Ya gotta keep ya head up”
–Tupac

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