The Verdict: Selig Still Not Cool

bud selig.jpgIn an innocuously desperate attempt Thursday to prove to MLB owners, players and fans that he is indeed “cool”, Commissioner Bud Selig failed even the slightest of notice despite donning some super-slick tip-top-trendy chick-magnet Blublockers.

Ironically, he did turn heads by becoming the first person to ever replace himself as Captain Obvious when he cautioned MLB owners about the failing world economy.  (*Selig originally became Captain Obvious when he warned the league that some players may in fact be using steroids and other PEDs.  This, of course, came after ten years of simply ignoring said problem while MLB made mad money off now twice-said problem.)

After an emergency board meeting with RSBS interns, I conclude that the moniker “cool” will never be applicable to Bud Selig.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




Come on – you don’t think he’s Mr. Cool in that photo? I can hear the women in Siberia swooning now.


Julia, I’m afraid those aren’t women you’re hearing…

Lol, I don’t think “cool” was ever applicable to Bud Selig… I can’t think of one cool thing he’s done… besides announce he will retire in 2012 when his contract is up.
V –

No, Bud isn’t cool, but I shudder to think who the next commissioner might be. GWB? Not cool at all.

Well, I think we all know that my liberal bona fides are completely in order but I actually think W would be a decent commissioner. For better or for worse, he loves the game, he’d want to see it succeed and he’s no longer tied to the owners. Call me crazy but I wouldn’t mind seeing Prince George take over after Selig.

Bud Selig is the epitamy of all that is cool. I once heard he told some owners when they were fretting over revenue, “B**ch be cool.” Or maybe that was from a cool movie either way Selig is “awesome.”

In light of the news that Bud Selig announced about the economy, I would definitely say that he and John Madden are related… or maybe in a duel for the Captain Obvious title.

It’s about 9M MST tonight, and I dont know whether or not the 74 year old Selig is cool, but to hopefully quote the great Russo-American novelist, the deceased writer Ayn Rand, 103 posthumously…”His invisible eyes pierced me though unadorned Blublockers, like a lance of righteous justice, and I knew, implicitly, he was Awesome.”

Here’s a challenge: Who can you think of who’s less “cool” than GWB? I mean, for years the guy said his biggest mistake was trading Sammy Sosa.

“That guy?! I wouldn’t let him supervise one of my [bowel movements]!”-Scott Eyre (allegedly)

That is a very small ATM.

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