The Filibuster

bobby jindal.jpgIt’s still early in Spring Training but so far the Cardinals are
looking as rough as you thought they might. Similarly, the great
non-white hope of the Republican party, Bobby Jindal, faltered
astonishingly in his first nationwide address the other night, drawing
unfavorable comparisons with Kenneth the Page, a character on 30 Rock
.
If you had to make one of these two the next President and the other
one would then become the new GM of the Cardinals, which way would you
arrange them?

–Allen
_________________________________


Let me tell you a story…

There once was a Republican.  He wasn’t white.  He was the governor of Louisiana.  As if that wasn’t exciting enough, one day, after the non-white president from Chicago by way of Kansas, Indonesia and Hawaii gave a stirring speech to a bunch of cranky, old white guys, this clever governor from Louisiana (let’s call him Bobby Jindal) gave a sing-songy speech soiled with serendipitous condescension better fit for an audience of preschoolers.  But this Republican had guile.  He had wit.  He had an unparalleled pep of awkward confidence.  In fact, he was so bold that he touted the strengths of the Republican party in the same breath as mentioning Hurricane Katrina.

Whoops!

Okay, so that story means very little in the grand scheme of things, right?  I understand the need to put a fresh, young, non-white face on the identity of the GOP, but shouldn’t someone be responsible for helping Jindal become that — mold him, teach him, brief him — rather than just throwing him into an awkward circumstance unprepared?

kenneth the page.jpgAs Mr. Krause mentioned, Jindal is now drawing comparisons to NBC’s 30 Rock character, Kenneth the Page, and for good reason.  They are both scrawny, bubbly, out-of-touch persons who tend to smile and giggle a lot while making everyone around them extremely uncomfortable.

Verily!  Republicans have a long way to go…

But the question was asked: if I had to make one of these characters the next president and one the new GM of the Cardinals, which way would I arrange them?

First off, Kenneth the Page, while quite similar to Jindal in speech and performance, might be more accurately compared to our last president, GW Bush.  Both seem aloof, unregulated and the benefactors of nepotism.  Based on that, I would throw the ball to Jindal, hope for the best and not read a newspaper for four years.

Meanwhile, after being brutally victimized by John Mozeliak’s micromanaging to the tune of hope, wait and see baseball, how much worse could Kenneth the Page really be in the Cardinals front office?

Not since the early 90s have I been so void of confidence going into the season.  Mozeliak is putting a lot of pressure on the young kids and if they cannot perform, Redbird fans (me included) will be found in sewers and sinkholes all across this nation muttering expletives to themselves and wishing for a new GM.

If Kenneth the Page is available, we’ll take him.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

13 Comments

May I check the “none of the above” box?

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

I hear Jim Bowden is available.
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

You guys could have had Adam Eaton…ooops! Looks like the O’s swiped him already…darn, I know you are sad :O( Next time…

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Erin’s right. Go after Jim Bowden, talk about sewers and sinkholes.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Julia — It’d probably be for the best.
Erin — I hear the same. Why not?
Jenn — Sad doesn’t represent my true feelings enough.
Jane — Sewers and sinkholes sound pretty good right about now.
–Jeff

I have to disagree with your opinion on the current status of this team.
“Mozeliak is putting a lot of pressure on the young kids…”
So what? It’s no more a risk than a free agent or trade for a veteran, and if a “young kid” falters or gets hurt then he gets sent down to AAA…no big loss. So many people are down on Mo–why? What if Colby Rasmus is Rookie of the Year this year? What if Chris Perez saves 35 games? What if Chris Carpenter throws 180 innings and wins 15? What if the Cardinals make the playoffs? Will John Mozeliak still be a terrible GM?

I don’t hate you, but on this one you’re not right.

Chris

http://bird-brained.mlblogs.com

Chris — Appreciate the comment; I’m just saying, going into this season our BIGGEST problem was the bullpen and after the off-season our biggest problem still is: The Bullpen. It’s not better by any means. 31 blown saves last year? We need to get through the 7, 8, 9th innings… couldn’t do that last year. We can hit til the cows come home but winners are made out of good pitching. We ain’t got it. That’s why I’m down on Mo. If he thinks Perez, Motte and Co. are going to get it done against the stronger-than-ever Cubs, then I have no choice but to question him. I’m nervous. Remember the good old days when we were a contender every year? Good pitching was always at the heart of it. Now that that’s gone, we’re going to struggle save a miracle or three.
–Jeff

I totally agree with you about the bullpen being the biggest problem last year, but remember not all of those blown saves led to losses. That aside, the two biggest problems in the bullpen were Izzy’s ineffectiveness and Franklin being a set-up guy trying to close. With Perez (or Motte, if Perez falters) as the de facto closer, both of those problems are eradicated and the bullpen is improved. The Cubs better than ever? Their closer is Marmol; how is that any better than Perez? At least Perez has closing experience in the Majors. I’m telling you, man, this team is going to do good things. I’m reserving full judgment until September.

Chris

http://bird-brained.mlblogs.com

I hope you’re right, Chris. I really hope you’re right.
–Jeff

I actually don’t find it wierd that the GOP put ol’ Bobby Hill s

whoa, thanks MLB.com for cutting me off. what I was trying to say was,

I actually don’t find it weird that the GOP put ol’ Bobby Hill square in the firing line as they did, for them its win-win, if the response goes well, they all look good and take the credit, if it goes bad, he’s a jerk, they move on and we don’t hear from Bobby again. Also not surprising that the brain trust that is the state of Louisiana voted a glorified preschool teacher as their governor. Come to the think of it, if I were a republican I may have been put more at ease by an actual preschool teacher reading ‘The Little Engine that Could’ to the country, now that’s an inspiring story.
http://www.brollybooks.com/assets/images/welcome3.jpg
As for ‘30 Rock’, sorry guys, I avoid network TV at all costs.

DK — Interesting thought… that they put him out there on purpose thinking of it as win-win. How do they win when he looks silly? In turn do they not look silly? I think so. And for the record, never seen 30 Rock in my life. Had to do some research on that one ;-) UH OH, cat’s OUTTA da bag jack!
–Jeff

here’s the deal with that (in my head). Ol BJ is not your run of the mill GOP type, as we know, most are old, pot-bellied windbags that walk around with revolvers, smoking huge cigars and making cat calls at women .. pretty sure anyways. So what i see this turning into is one of those ‘He’s one of them’ witch hunt deals. And what exactly is he? well that doesn’t matter my friend. is he a terrorist? looks the part! a liberal in disguise? why not! a poor public speaker? hell yeah! and of course, what he isn’t, one of them. so where does it end up? finger pointing, playing the blame game. similar to how the republican party has handled the the Obama presidency, they will simply blame someone else for their blunders or ineptitude. ‘well he (BJ) didn’t talk like he was supposed to, or say what we told him to say, or wear a cowboy hat with an american flag draped on his shoulders.’
so yeah, as backwards as it sounds, him looking like a fool can somehow make the rest of them look slightly more competent. trust me on this one, i work in South Carolina.

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