No More Tears in Heaven

new_york_times_logo.gifIt still remains to be seen what the ultimate consequences of the steroid excesses in baseball will be. There are the obvious effects when guys like Pudge get smaller overnight and guys like Jason Giambi no longer put up the same numbers. And in fact, an early result seems to be a bit of an overall downward trend in ballplayer size these days, with smaller guys like Pedroia winning awards and huge contracts. The NY Times, in its continuing series “Why the mainstream media is barely relevant: Stating the obvious three years after the fact,” points out this very same fact.

However, there are more important questions that need to be answered and I am not satisfied with their coverage. For instance, we all know about Derek Jeter’s romantic entanglements with women like Mariah Carey and Jessica Biel. I applaud that.  But why is he now dating a 22 year old? I mean, this guy is five years older than me and I’m pretty sure if I was dating someone barely old enough to legally drink, my family and friends would wonder what was going on. Pudge may have hit the Slimfast but at least he isn’t robbing the cradle.

All I know is that it’s hard to feel bad for a guy like Jeter who is so cavalier in his profligacy. But even that is better than A-Rod with his she-males and Joba with his strippers. And it definitely beats talking about PED’s. Thank god New York has a family man like CC around now. Perhaps it will make up for the loss of the one guy who always kept things real by wearing his emotions on his shirt sleeve. Where are your tears when we really need them, Farnsworth?
farnsworth cries.jpg



Better than having one of the players married to Anna Benson.
Although she was mildly entertaining sometimes.

You have to give it to Anna Benson – she kept Kris relevant longer than his pitching did.

Haha, true. Wasn’t she on the cover of Sporting News once?

You should write for the New York Times, not even kidding. You and Jeff should get your own column. Nice new profile pictures– that from the ‘Crush’ video?

Well, if A-Rod can date women a lot old then he then why can’t Jeter date women a lot younger? Does make you wonder what is wrong with women their own age.


Ha, Jeter is a cougar

That is why I hate Derek Jeter.

I don’t think Professor Farnsworth really has time to cry anymore. He’s too busy counting the piles of money he duped the Royals organization into giving him.

Farnsworth wouldn’t be Farnsworth if he didn’t have tears coming out of his eyes after every outing.

Am I a bad person for doing a happy dance when Farnsworth comes in since he almost always helps out the Sox by blowing it when he pitches?

Jeter still looks like he’s in his 20’s. He could get teenies if he wanted. Who’s next Miley Cyrus?

As long as the girl is older than 21. If she can drink with you then the age isn’t that bad.

~King of Cali

I wholeheartedly agree with the King of Cali.

Age is just another piece of mis-information on your driver’s license. I agree with Jeff and King…it’s all the same after 21. Not that you won’t have to take some crap from your family, Allen. But, that’s a small price to pay to spend time with a person that is too young to have acquired a full set of baggage and still believes life will be kind to them. Wow, when did I get so jaded?

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