Why Not Invoke Thy Holy Goat?

bishop tom burns.jpgVerily!  Every baseball season I, Jeffery Lung, walk through the valley of the shadow of death… also known as Wrigley Field.

I have been punched in the back of the head.  I have been called a f^g.  I have been kicked in the legs while relieving myself in the men’s room in between innings.

I have been told my mother will rot in hell.  I have had beer thrown on me.  I have been spit on.

So it is certainly no surprise to me that a bunch of Wrigleyville yahoos placed a severed goat head atop the infamously scary Harry Caray statue on the corner of Sheffield and Addison yesterday.

The curse of the billy goat — still haunting the not-so-friendly-if-you-wear-Cardinal-red confines — lives on, dear readers; and apparently, people still take it seriously.  Very seriously.

They take it so seriously that they are willing to act like bigger a-holes than they are already perceived to be.  

But such is life as a “lovable loser”, I suppose.

Impressed was I last year, before the National League Division Series, when the Cubs went for a more subtle approach to ending their poor luck: praying to God.  After the Greek Orthodox Reverend Father spread holy water throughout the clubhouse, Ryan Dempster responded by quickly walking seven batters; and the Cubs went on to lose three straight lackluster games to the Los Angeles (perhaps Holy) Dodgers.

Guess God don’t like no posers, ya’ll.

I was just thinking, Cub fans: perhaps ye should combine thy wasted efforts into one successful go-for-all.  Call on Bishop Tom Burns and his iconic regimental mascot (a goat no less) to bless thy dump of a field in that oh-so-vigilante neighborhood and ask him to pray for your forgiveness — for all thy slander-slinging, grudge-grovelling and curse-coveting. 

Couldn’t hurt, right?

Well… nah… I just realized, when your fan base is more known for this…

…than winning baseball games, you really don’t have a prayer, do you?

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




Oh my God. Is that seriously a bathroom in Wrigley? That’s disgusting. I seriously threw up a little. For all the sh*t you go through being a Cards fan in Chicago, I say you have more than earned the right to bash Cubs fans. And I thoroughly enjoy it! :)

That video would be much better if it were set to Yakety Sax.

Poor Jeff. At least we know Cubs fans are just jealous of the superior organization that is the Cardinals. I don’t think any amount of praying will help the Cubs at this point.

Ah, nothing like a little cub bashing to put a smile on my face. Of course, I wish I had not clicked on the video. Gag! Hopefully, our Cardinals stay hot and do some cub bashing of their own this weekend!

Jen — Looks just like it. The YouTube chatter seems to point to a debate, but I’ve seen similar acts at wrigley and they do have troughs like that and those guys are all tools just like the wrigley faithful.
Erin — If you can arrange it, I’ll play it ;-)
Melissa — Superior is RIGHT! Winningest franchise in NL history! 10 rings!
Kathy — I’ll be there Thursday and Sunday. If you don’t hear from me after that, have someone look under the bleachers for a dead man wearing a Molina jersey.
Julia — I know. I know.

Congrats on #3 Guys!


If that is truly what that guy is doing, all I can say is – Gross! Really gross!
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

That might be the funniest and most disgusting thing I have ever seen! If it in fact took place at Wrigley it doesn’t surprise me at all ;-)

Major League Ballhawk

To quote a famous blogger, “I wouldn’t have gone with that video, but that’s just me.” When are you making your pilgrimage to Wrigley this year? We’ll all start praying for you.:)


Sue — Cub fans tend to be “gross”.
John — Me neither ;-)
Jane — Touche. The pilgrimage begins tomorrow (say a prayer, yeah?)… and Sunday too. Cards are in town to whoop some tail!

I live just a few miles from Wrigley. That severed head was the talk of the town. Crazy, huh.


I live just a few miles from Wrigley. That severed head was the talk of the town. Crazy, huh.


Congrats on #3

I live and work a few miles from wrigley. Crazy
That severed head was the talk of the town


You’re right, baseballintheattic. I’ll be in your neighborhood tomorrow to see the Cards beat ‘dem Cubbies!

As soon as I saw that picture and read the first 3 paragraphs I thought I knew what this article would be about. But when I read about the bishop – I guess I didn’t realize what this world has come to.

Congrats on #3.

As a Cubs fan I can say I have experienced a lot of trash talk at Busch similar to what you have experienced at Wrigley. However, the “pissing trough” video was utterly disgusting!!!



Jeff- Wow, you go through a lot of misfortune. The video… I am speechless.

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