Motivational Speaking

Round two of the Cubs/Cardinals rivalry kicked off Friday night and once again the game wobbled in the unsteady hands of each club’s respective bullpens. 

Ryan Franklin was a success.

Carlos Marmol was not.

Here’s why:

albert pujols ryan franklin.jpg
lou piniella carlos marmol.jpgIf you don’t know by now, Albert Pujols is a baseball god.  He hits for average.  He hits for power.  He steals bases.  He motivates his teammates.  I would rather donate half my salary to the Republican Party, sit on Rush Limbaugh’s lap and make out with Ann Coulter while listening to the entire Barry Manilow catalogue than piss off Pujols.

No wonder Franklin got the job done.

As for Marmol, well, can anyone blame him for yet another failure?  His manager hates him.  He has no clearly defined role on the team.  And he just found out that General Motors is pulling the plug on the Pontiac line!

Life just ain’t fair; I couldn’t be happier.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.



(*Base images courtesy of the Associated Press)


Marmol shouldn’t feel too bad since Piniella has that speech as a template for every pitcher he deals with from Randy Johnson to the likes of Bartolome Fortunato and everyone in between.

Thank you, Prince, for bringing Bartolome back. Thought I’d never hear that name again.

Tell ya’ what, I LOVED his arm and stuff; plus he was mean; it just didn’t work out with him.

Pujols is amazing.


Prince — I see Fortunato in my mind’s eye every time I hear Scott Kazmir’s name.
Julia — You betchya.

I wouldn’t want to piss Albert off either. Definitely not a good life skill. The Astros tried and look at them now. Liking S Club however is a very good life skill. So you are very welcome.

Lissi — Overnight I became their biggest fan.

How can you not love Albert? 🙂 I think the “tee hee” part of that picture made me laugh more than the rest of it. But as a whole it was awesome. My friend now wants to make that picture her Facebook profile pic! Hahaha! Awesomeness at its finest.

Jen — That “tee hee” was a direct quote from Yadi😉

Gregg= not Kerry Wood
Marmol= not Kerry Wood

Sucks to be them.


I don’t know which would be a bigger sacrifice – sitting on Rush’s lap or kissing Ann Coulter, not to mention listening to Manilow. You touched ’em all, Jeff.

Pujols is one of those rare and special players we don’t see very often. He makes the players on his team better. Look at Ludwick’s stats last year with Pujols out of the lineup. It’s a big difference. Pujols is to the Cardinals as Jordan was to the Bulls.
This coming from a Cubs fan.


Jason — LOL. Truer words have been spoken not.
Jane — I always reach for the fences. You know this😉
Ron — That grand slam he hit a little while ago is testament to his greatness… and like Karros said, everyone in the lineup has produced today. He’s the catalyst. No doubt.

I agree with Julia completely. Pujols is amazing. Might even be best in majors. Him or Han Ram.

Also check out my daily trivia on my blog.

I’m going for Pujols too. Although when ESPN had updates on last night during the draft, my friend Matt’s friend Ian giggled everytime they mentioned him. “Poo holes. Hehehe”. Yeah, as you can tell, he’s a J-E-T-S fan. No intelligence. Ash

Metsgo — Han Ram ain’t even close to AP. Not yet. Not even close.
Ash — That joke is so old now I’m surprised people find it remotely funny at this point.

Let me get this straight, you would rather “donate half [your] salary to the Republican Party, sit on Rush Limbaugh’s lap and make out with Ann Coulter while listening to the entire Barry Manilow catalogue than piss off Pujols”… Well… if that isn’t devotion, I don’t know what is. And making out with Ann Coulter… god it’s like the horrid image is now burned into my brain. Thanks Jeff, thanks for that one.

I always wondered what they talk about on the mound…thanks for clearing that up :O) Ha!!

Emily — I aim to please… or force you to think about things you don’t want to… in any case, I got your attention😉
Jenn — A lot of research went into this post. For sure.

Albert Pujols is the greatest ball player ever. Period. He hits for power and never gives up on the game. The Cardinals are lucky to have a guyy like that on the team- one that doesn’t use illegal drugs and is trustworthy, even now when baseball is in its “dark days”, if you know what I mean.
Nice article, by the way

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