The Filibuster

This weekend we saw a series pitting the team with the best record in
the league against the team with the worst record. At what point in the
season do you think we’ll see this again and which teams will take part
the next time around?

–Allen
__________________________________________

Bush_Nats.jpgAs long as the Washington Nationals continue to be a baseball franchise (sorta), you can be quite sure that this scenario will pop up once again.  Will they be playing the MLB best Cardinals next time?  The Dodgers?  The Blue Jays in June during interleague play?

The truth is: I have absolutely no clue.

Because so far nothing this season has been on my radar: that the Cardinals’ piecemeal bullpen could hold itself together through April… that the Blue Jays would find a way to win in the AL East… that no one wants Pedro Martinez…

But in the end, one thing will always remain certain: The Washington Nationals are a national joke.

After some hardcore number-crunching analysis, one might conclude that their suckage is rooted in their inherent identity crisis:
 

  • Are we the Expos?
  • Are we the Senators who are now the Twins?
  • Are we the Nationals who were the Expos?
  • Are we the other Senators who are now the Rangers?

Or perhaps it stems from their dizzying closet of uniform combinations:

washington nationals uniforms.jpgWho knows? Maybe the Nats are an embarrassment because they find this food stand inside Nationals Park to be a family-friendly establishment:

senators sausages.jpgDear readers, I could go in a million different directions with that snafu of a baseball bodega — none of them good — but I will save you (and myself) from the certain discomfort and unpleasant visualization it would cause.

Whatever the reason for the Nationals’ lack of success, I must admit how sad it was for me — as a baseball fan — to see such a beautiful ballpark only a quarter full for a Friday night game.  It was disappointing too that there were more Cardinal fans in attendance than Nats fans and that the loudest cheers I heard all weekend were in response to the Capitals vs. Penguins playoff hockey game — the favorable D.C. score of which was posted on the jumbotron in between innings, thus rousing Washingtonians into a fervent coup d’etat aimed towards building a bigger hockey arena while at the same time finding a more thirsty suitor for the oh-so-lowly Nats, all of their prior nicknames, logos and dysfunctional sausages.

So far, no takers.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

(Senators Sausages image courtesy of Wonkette)
(Uniform image courtesy of Wikipedia)

13 Comments

Jeff, you’re wrong about the Washington Nationals being a national joke. They are a “natinal” joke. (I assume you heard about the wardrobe malfunction involving Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman?) And speaking of uniforms, four different uniforms = a way for the team to make money off the fans who simply must buy one of each jersey that the Nationals wear. *rolling eyes* Oh, and yes…Senators Sausages is just wrong on so many levels…….
Shelley
http://diamonddiva.mlblogs.com/

It is very sad to have a stadium so empty. We Red Sox fan don’t want to see Fenway replaced, but I think many of us wish the stadium could be bigger.

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

I wish the Nationals could turn it around because I’d love to see a good team in DC. But look how long it took the Rays to fill up the Trop (and win a pennant).

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Shelley — Oh yes, we were on top of the “Natinals” debacle. Good times. Why was it just the two franchise players who had bad unis? Conspiracy…
Julia — I hear ya. Never been to Fenway, but I imagine that if anything it’s better than Wrigley, which could stand to be torn down IMO.
Jane — Yeah, Rays have the excuse that they started from scratch though. The Nats were the Expos… and it’s been 40 plus years of losing for them. Same old story. Sad really.
–Jeff

Maybe it would help if they got rid of that ‘W’ logo. Not much good has come from a Dubya in Washington.
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

Recent memory proves you are correct, Erin. Very, very correct.
–Jeff

If Ted Kennedy wasn’t ill, I’m sure he’d be standing up on the counter of the “Senator’s Sausages” cart asking, “Er ah, any uh ladies like to, uh, sahmple my saaausages? Er ah…”
http://www.paullebowitz.com/

Prince — Gross, but true. I’m surprised the illness would hold him back. All the more reason to “solicit” if ya ask me.
–Jeff

How did you get the sound on your page?

~ King of Cali
http://kingofcali.mlblogs.com/

King of Cali — That sound needs to go… and it will with the next post as it gets knocked down the list. It comes up because that video from one of Al’s earlier posts about the magic cat at Citi Field automatically starts when you load the page. It’ll go away soon.
–Jeff

I can relate to your point on how a beautiful stadium can be half empty. I went to Camden Yards in Baltimore and the stadium was absolutely gorgous. Too bad it was over half empty. Probably closer to 75% emtpy.
-DillonMcT
http://demboysfromthebronx.mlblogs.com

Hmm. Well, DillonMcT, perhaps this is a Mid-Atlantic problem more than anything. I blame the politicians.
–Jeff

Whenever an awful ballclub builds a new stadium, no amount of paint, sparkle or glamour is going to bring the crowds in past Opening Day or a series with the Yankees. The only thing worse than having to pay $8 to see the Nationals ruin my weekend is paying $10 to see them ruin my weekend sat in a chair two inches wider. Ashhttp://ashleymarshall.mlblogs.com

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