Paunch ‘Em Out!

If you are an MLB.TV subscriber, you may have noticed that between innings you will see the occasional commercial now.  Most likely it will be an annoying five dollar foot long spot.  But if you’re lucky, you’ll get a poorly produced advertisement for a Major League Baseball umpiring school!

Nevermind the reality that you have a better chance becoming a Major League baseball player than you do an umpire, because that, dear readers, is not important here.

What is important is that you know umpiring is sexy now.  And anyone can do it.  Hell, Don Denkinger did it and he su<ked!

So go for it!  Just make sure you come prepared and look the part… no friggin’ skinnies allowed!

umpire school.jpg

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.




Maybe that explains all the bad calls of late…they have trouble getting down low enough to see the ball.


Haha so true. That same thought crossed my mind when I saw that commercial yesterday. Not only that, but being only 5’7 myself, I can’t help but notice that there aren’t any short umpires. At least none that I can think of.


I’m with Julia on this one. Also, since you were banned, I thought I’d entertain you with this little treat:
BarryZito: i’ve been infected by the Kings of Leon and i don’t want the anecdote 36 minutes ago from mobile web
He corrected himself four minutes later… but I thought you would be amused with that one.

Julia — Excellent point, and I might add that they have problems getting down low period.
Jason — Not sure on that one. I’m always distracted by the gut.
Emily — Thanks for the heads up. After he banned me, I take great pride is witnessing Zito’s extremely visible demise — both on and off the field. That’s good ole Barry for ya. Someone told me the other day that after they beat the Nats he wrote “F$#@ Yeah!!!”. Way to be classy, Zito. Way to be classy… and way to be excited about beating a crappy t-ball team.

Please tell me there are at least thirty Geico ads during each game as well.

That commercial rocks. I especially love the part where they balance on medicine balls. Please tell me when an umpire needs to balance on a medicine ball in a game? Or when they need to do anything remotely simlar or that uses those skills?

Prince — No… sorry to report that there aren’t. Could go for a Levitra ad or too though. Those always make me feel good about myself.
Melissa — Medicine balls are to umpiring as alcohol is to teen pregnancy.

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