Big Lay-Z

the big z.jpg“I’ll be running nice and easy, just taking my time, not hustling.  I apologize to the Cubs fans.”
 — Carlos Zambrano, on how he’ll play upon his return from the disabled list
 (Chicago Tribune Article)

The good news is Carlos Zambrano doesn’t have to take the fall for this mope wreck of a statement.  The chain of command comes from up high and the Chicago Cubs suits are proving that not only do they not know how to win when it matters, but they also don’t know how to manage the public image of their players.

So, the really bad news is that baseball has openly lowered its standards.  You don’t have to hustle anymore, folks — especially if you’re a ticking time-bomb with a slingshot arm and a once-sore hammy that has now fully healed, leaving no pain.

Indeed, Cy Young is rolling in his grave.

Okay, so I gotta ask:  If Zambrano feels no pain then why won’t he be hustling on the field? 

In the wake of steroids, with pandemic doubt blanketing the game from New York to Los Angeles to Los Angeles of Anaheim, the last thing we (and especially Cubs) fans need is to know that some players aren’t giving it their all and that management is okay with that.  If you’re not healthy enough to play the game the way the game is supposed to be played, then you shouldn’t be playing the game… I don’t care how talented you are.

Note to Cubs: either sew Zambrano’s mouth shut or hire a new P.R. person.  I got just the guy for you too — even colored his hair to match your duds:

perez hilton.jpgDon’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

9 Comments

Is that Corey Haim?
Jeff, I hope the purging helped you ease your sickness after my posting about the Luv Gov today. You’ll have to build up a tolerance as his “hired help” surely did.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/

Well that makes me feel better for this series. If he isn’t going to try maybe the Cards won’t have to worry as much.
Melissa
http://clemsongirlbaseball.mlblogs.com

I say both – sew the mouth & new PR guy. Just a thought…

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Wow…he really has set an all-time low for idiots in baseball. SO sad.

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Prince — Perez Hilton, dude. And what bothers me more than than anything is the fact that Spitzer kept his socks on. HIS SOCKS!
Melissa — One can only hope… he won’t be back til Friday, so we get by w/o seeing him.
Julia — If I were in charge, you could consider it done and done.
Jenn — I’m sure it will get worse. It’s Zambrano we’re talking about here. No such thing as lower than low. LOL.
–Jeff

I like the sewing of the mouth shut (although a new PR person would work too). Hey, Allen – how ’bout Dontrelle!

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

See, Carlos is the poster boy for slackers. Feel bd for Cubbies fans now. Maybe Carlos will get hit in the head with a brick or something. Just saying.
-Holly
http://irishsoxkid19.mlblogs.com
http://nickadenhartmemorial.mlblogs.com

You know Perez wanted to be a Rays fan because of Fernando Perez and the Hilton just a mile down the road from the Trop., but we dropped him for Rob Schneider.
Was that a good trade?
Some players just have that lifetime supply of hoof and mouth and even if a PR department person is standing over them, they will spew the toilet if they want to air it all out.
I remember a story Rick Vaughn, who is the Rays VP of Communications used to stand next to Elijah Dukes when he spoke to the media with the Rays.
Some players just have to be shown the light, but Zambrano is wearing cheap sunglasses at night.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Jane — Al is still recovering from D-train’s first outing. This is all too much for him.
Holly — Well, I don’t wish him any harm… just poor performances from here on out.
RR — Haha, Perez being a baseball fan. Now that’s funny. Dukes, like many players, NEEDS a handler for all occasions.
–Jeff

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