Identity Crisis

question_mark.jpgListen up, Major League Baseball.  I love you.  I really do; and sometimes being in love means having to bring you back down to earth, to be horribly blunt and to shower you with lots of smack (the slang, not the drug, though sometimes the drug seems like a better option in extreme cases, like when you overflow my inbox with crap I don’t want and never asked for).

MLB, you are not the NFL.  You are not the NBA.  You are MLB.

So while I commend you for trying to drum up interest in something — the first year player draft — that is, on the surface, boring and otherwise three to four years removed (if that) from the current game, I must ask you to please snap out of it

For the record, I do not care about the NFL and NBA drafts either, but I can certainly see why people do.  If you are a basketball and/or football fan, you have seen the potential draftees come up through the highly competitive elite forces of the NCAA.  Bowl games are slammed down your throat.  March Madness is so mad that it doesn’t end until April.  You know the players.  You’ve seen their talents.  You hope your pro team gets a shot at their services.

In contrast, the potential baseball draftees are as familiar to us fans as is a logical, amicable, non-infuriating Ann Coulter.  In the NFL and NBA, if you get drafted, your chances of seeing playing time at the top are almost a given, while most of the guys drafted in the MLB draft will never put on a big league uniform.  Sure, your Griffeys, A-Rods and Verlanders — guys who go in the first round or two — will most likely make it; but the majority of the rest will wallow away in the minor leagues, battle disillusionment, come to grips with not being good enough and before you know it they’re faxing TPS reports behind a desk while reading RSBS for giggles.

So as MLB pats itself on its self-aggrandizing back about televising this overblown shindig so they can sell lots of advertising to companies gullible enough to think that it will actually rival that of its football and basketball brethren, you can be sure that I will be spending my time wisely.  Dear readers, I advise you to do the same; and just in case you can’t think of anything better to do, here are some suggestions:

  • Remember, question and lament the hype of Pete Incaviglia
  • Write hate-mail to Rush Limbaugh and sign it “Jesus”
  • Clone Chris Carpenter
  • Come up with clever gimmicks to sell your new religion start-up (worked for me!)
  • Or, God forbid, watch an actual Major League Baseball game with real-life Major Leaguers

pete incaviglia.jpgIndeed, that is but a short list of things I will be doing instead of watching your draft, MLB.  I will not be listening to Harold Reynolds start every sentence with “Now, here’s a guy…” nor will I sing praises of your precious college phenom Stephen Strasburg when he is — as you already told me he would be — drafted in the first round.  I’ll wait until he collects the league minimum $400K for that.

I know a poser when I see one and it is because I love you, MLB, that I have to call you one to your face.  Go ahead and hate me ‘cuz I’m critical of your identity crisis, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

16 Comments

I agree that the MLB draft is nothing compared to the NFL and NBA drafts. Those are so much more exciting and us fans know who our favorite teams are getting.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com

The Red Sox and Yankees play Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday – who’s going to be watching the draft?

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Dillon — My point exactly.
Julia — Thanks for the reminder… I’ll have a close eye on it.
–Jeff

I’ll be too busy probably punching myself in the face because the White Sox have abandoned their goal of winning games and have a new one of seeing how many times I can punch myself in the face. Starting today, I believe I’m at about four.
Jen
http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com

But Stephen Strasburg is going to single-handedly bring the Nats a World Championship! Jerry Crasnick even told me so! Agreed, the MLB draft, like the NHL draft, is boring. If MLB wants fans to start paying attention to the amateur draft. they should stop holding it during the regular season. ‘Cuz that’s when most baseball fans are watching actual baseball.
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

I agree the first year player draft is totally different than all other drafts. NHL, NBA, NFL. To truly appreciate you can just be a casual baseball fan. You have to be hardcore in fantasy, and all things baseball. My bet is not too many people know Matt Bush, or Brian Bullington (expect Jays fans this season). Two former #1 picks in this decade.

The draft is more than likely to go over many fans heads, considering that they’ll be waiting 3 to 4 years for these players to actually play a game in the bigs … if at all for at least five of the top ten!
http://homerfoodandhistory.mlblogs.com/

Jen — Hopefully Contreras’ performance last night rejuvenated your spirit!
Erin — Hm… a draft in the offseason? How logical of you. MLB, take note.
Homer — It will go over my head. Unless he can help my team win now, I’m not really that interested.
–Jeff

I couldn’t agree more, Jeff. And Pete Incaviglia. LOL. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in awhile.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Remember, Jane, Inky refused to play in the minor leagues. REFUSED! Can you believe that? If he weren’t so large, maybe someone would have kicked some humility into him.
–Jeff

Who are these Yankees and Red Sox I hear so much about? They must be small market teams who get 10 seconds of press time compared to the five minnute drawn out boring rehashing of the bigger markets. Bring on the draft excitement.
Tom
http://rockymountainway.mlblogs.com

I can tell you that I will be at the ballpark when the first selection is picked today.
I did enjoy sitting in the ESPN Cafe last season in Orlando watching the draft unfold, but this year we have battle plans with the Angels in prime time, so I have to miss it.
I love the idea to clone Chris Carpenter.
Is it too late to get in my order for the First Editions stamping of him?
I love the idea and the excitement of the Draft, but I think that a prime time edition of it right now might be more hype for the guys who get the contracts than for the teams.
But experimenting is part of getting better, so you got to give them major props for having the stones to do it on prime time.
Unfortunately in Tampa Bay tonight, most people will be tuned either into the Rays game, or the NBA Finals in Orlando.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Tom — Never heard of them. Must not be important.
RR — So the Tampa folks go for Orlando, eh? Not Miami. Nice. Should be a good series with the Halos. May the best underachiever win!
–Jeff

hey, sorry for the random post…..I’m making the rounds on the mlb blogs to tell people about a new website for Ballhawks,

http://www.myGameBalls.com

You can create a profile, upload pictures, and record balls that you snagged at baseball games. It automatically updates your stats and has top-10 rankings for the current season and lifetime.

HAH.. Amen.. I was thinking the same thing when I found “Watch the latest draft updates” headlined on mlb.com..
MLB is now officially trying too hard.. so sad.
- V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]

Refreshing read, thank you. I just wrote up something similar myself, but I don’t think I put it as succinctly or eruditely as you did.

Twins Limey

Thanks, Gameballs. I have one to my credit in 30 years. Does that count?
V — Yeah, and I’m turning the channel to actual baseball.
Twins Limey — Thanks for the kind words. “Erudite” and “Succinct” are both family names (we have an eccentric family ;-)
–Jeff

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