A Tardy Lament, Poetic Ode for Ye Olde Wilson Betemit

wilson betemit.jpgGordon Beckham’s triumphant entrance into Major League Baseball did not come without supreme sacrifice.  To make room for the rookie phenom, Chicago White Sox suits were forced to say goodbye to one of their greatest unknown infielder journeymen: Wilson “I Signed with the Braves When I Was 14 Years Old” Betemit.

Like the hopes and dreams of Cub fans during a National League Division Series, so too was Wilson hastily gone from this fair Second City of ourn.  And, unfortunate was I, having not had a chance to offer my official farewells to old number 15.

So here I lie my scornful lament, for a better place than this there is not to vent…

No one ever made hitting .200 so effortless and so easy,
No one ever wore Chris Sabo glasses so restless and so sleazy,
Your name is mispronounced, your voice all but groused, and your slide into second makes me queasy.

Traded with Marquez and Nunez for Swisher and K. Teixera,
Your batting average with the White Sox was as dry as the Sahara,
You came from the Dominican, with the attitude of Gilligan, and stats from the dead-ball era.

From the Braves to the Dodgers to the Yanks to the Sox,
To the streets of designated assignment buried deep beneath the rocks,
Remember we cared, remember all that we shared, but in the end you were let go ‘cuz you su<k.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

13 Comments

LOL…F’n hilarious, Jeff! RSBS has most definitely become my daily source of MLB hilarity. :^)

Lovely….brought a tear to my eye. ;-)

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Jonestein — Thanks for making my day!
Julia — We certainly aim to please. Turns out Yankees fans were finally right about something.
–Jeff

When I get back to Chicago, I’m making a caption wall in my room. I’m printing this out and putting it on the wall, credits to you of course. This was hilariously brilliant. LOVE it!
Jen
http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com

Wow, if that’s how you feel about poor Wilson Betemit, I can’t wait for your tribute to Magglio Ordonez.
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

Jen — I’m flattered. And I’m glad that speaking the Truth finally worked ;-)
Erin — No tribute for Maggs. We just taunt, chant and jeer and the curly-locked shell of a superstar.
–Jeff

Jeff, that was pure brilliance! You should send a copy to Wilson. Well, maybe not. At the very least, you should be on the short list for the next poet laureate.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Jane — Your words make me dance and smile with pride, for in your opinion I do confide. It’s all well and dandy, joy sweet as hard candy, that Wilson’s suckitude is bonafide.
–Jeff

Great stuff, very funny. Well written. Please check me out at http://theredsoxpoet.mlblogs.com/. Thanks.

You are too funny…you should write a book with all this fun stuff :O)

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Thanks, Jed. Will do.
Jenn — I should!!! You’re right!
–Jeff

It’s always good to see young guys get a quick start after coming up into the bigs.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com

Dillon, no offense, but what are you talking about?
–Jeff

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