Stirring Up Crap

pudding.jpgIn recent weeks, much ado has been made about the ongoing interweb scuffle between bloggers and “real” journalists.  From JRod’s mental wanderings on Raul Ibanez to Geoff Baker’s self-serving opus dei to Hugging Harold Reynoldspublic flaying of Jay Mariotti, everyone seems to be getting in on the controversy — creating it even.

I’m sure JRod is pretty pleased, if for nothing else than for being noticed (albeit harshly).  As sports bloggers, isn’t that all we really want?  To be noticed? 

Apparently, this is the best way to go.  Stir up some real crap.

So I’m gonna.

The following are very, very, very TRUE:

  • Vegetarian or not, Prince Fielder is fat
  • In my “fantasies”, Yadier Molina and Albert Pujols always fan me with palm tree leaves from the side while I… y’know, do my thing
  • The color orange is on steroids!!!!
  • Rush Limbaugh is also fat… and annoying
  • Babe Ruth was only awesome because he had to overcome and compensate for the fact that he had a girl’s last name (and breasts)
  • Barack Obama is a smoker. Deal with it, yo!
  • Bud Selig is as good at being commissioner of baseball as the Washington Nationals are at being champions of baseball
  • I spent a lot of money on Cardinals games during the summer of 1998, in awe of Mark McGwire, realizing that something fishy might be going on, but, like you, didn’t care that much about it ‘cuz it was friggin’ awesome. Like Selig, I too, looked the other way; but I would still make a much better commissioner of baseball than he because this All-Star Game’s “this time it counts” thing is absolutely ridiculous.
  • Our earth is flat; gravity is just some bulls*** made up by Communists
  • Manny Ramirez is Predator… and a cheater and annoying; but in a few days no one will remember that he got popped for taking a banned substance… and just in case you’re wondering, no, Manny is not fat — just big-haired.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m a fire-starter, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

13 Comments

Don’t know about the whole “flat earth” thing – but I like the rest!

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

I knew it.. I had my suspicions about orange for a while..
..And Jackie Robinson only had to overcome racist s.o.b.’s.. ain’t got nothing on the Babe. ;)
P.S. The ASG slogan is stupid.. and cheesy.. just thing thing you’d expect from a 74 year old from Milwaukee going by the name Bud..
- V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]

Wow, lil harsh on us members of… *pauses to catch breath from typing too fast* …Fat Nation! Jeez…

Orange is on the juice? I knew it!
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

We’re lucky to live in a world with a hero like Geoff Baker. Just ask him.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/

Selig is as bad as the Nats being champs. Very true.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com

Julia — Believe me, it’s true.
V — Exactly. Perhaps he should change his name to “Miller”.
Jonestein — Nah, not being harsh. I am not judgmental. Just trying to create controversy… did it work? No? Damn.
Erin — Yep. You read it here first.
Prince — I would if I didn’t have any dignity.
Dillon — And it just keeps getting worse…
–Jeff

You are definitely on a “fat” rant, Jeff. So you’re saying you looked the other way on McGwire but you’re not looking the other way on Manny? Ver-y interesting.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Thanks for having the balls to say what everyone else is thinking. I get tired of having to do it all myself.
http://moneyball.mlblogs.com/

Jane — I’m “fat” on life. I’m 99% sure McGwire was cheating. I’m 100% sure Manny is. Not really looking the other way anymore… it is what it is. The game is riddled with these “users”. My point is that we are/were, as fans, part of the problem and that everyone will soon forget about Manny just like they have Pettitte, A-Rod, and everyone else. That’s all.
Moneyball — I got your back. And I am glad that I have balls too.
–Jeff

Congrats on #2 in the latest Leader’s List guys!

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Woot woot!

I like orange. I like orange alot.

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