Suppress Thy Sore Loser, Loser

alfonso soriano.jpgFor those of you Cubbie-lovin’ pipedreamers out there who still believe in that wretched mantra of “this is our year” — a mantra disproved over and over and over again — then I got another nugget of fact to help bring you down from that dark cloud of praise.

Paul Sullivan, of the Chicago Tribune, writes:

When manager Lou Piniella spoke to [Alfonso] Soriano last week in Pittsburgh and told him he would be
giving him a few more days off, Soriano said he understood. But Soriano
was miffed when he learned his name wasn’t in the starting lineup
Wednesday after he had a pair of hits Tuesday night.

“That’s why I’m mad,” Soriano said. “If he had told me yesterday, then I wouldn’t come today ready to play.”

Wow.

Did he really say that?  Let’s look again:

“If he had told me yesterday, then I wouldn’t come today ready to play.”

Yep.  He said it.  And yes, this proves it: Alfonso Soriano is an idiot.

Call me loopy, but if I were making $17 million a year to show up, ready to play baseball every day, then you could bet your behind I would be ready to play baseball — every day.  Starter or sub, leading off or in the eight-hole, you’re a goddamn professional baseball player, Alfonso Soriano.  You’re living a dream.  Okay, you’re living a nightmare, but still, it’s a dream and you should treat it as such.

Goats, black cats, Steve Bartman, decking Michael Barrett, Sori’s hop, Big Z’s hot head, Dempster’s celebratory broken toe, Zambrano vowing to lollygag, the defunct abomination that is Milton Bradley…

Is it any wonder that the Cubs continue to disappoint?

I know, I know.  Even I am beginning to think my Cub-bashing agenda has become hackier than hack.  Still, what has to be said has to be said because the pain is now inching into my personal life.

My nephew is almost one year old now.  While his mother (my sister and devout Cardinal fan) tries the best she can, still, having a Cub fan as a father has already begun to affect him with serious, damaging, negative results. 

Here’s what he looks like when his mom dresses him in Cardinals gear:

P1000865.JPGAnd when his Cub-lovin’ daddy takes over?  Much different story:

downsized_0709091926.jpgIn this devastating world of hurt, do yourself a favor and try to smile a little bit, my plebeian brethren.  See the light, wear the STL.

And don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

30 Comments

I have to admit.
Even with the sea of fresh,purified and tasty Aquafina water he can handle, Lou Pinella doesn’t have the same gusto he had in the past.
How far he has come since his M’s days when fire and brime stone were within his reach.
I am not even sure he wants to throw a base or try to kick a baseball cap anymore. He might miss it on the follow-through.
What is even worse is that the Cubs have a huge boatload of talent, but you get pitchers hurt by trying to celebrate with teammates ( Dempster), then you have other hurlers who have personality defects that haunt your clubhouse ( insert several names here).
Best thing that happened to pitcher Chad Gaudin was the Cubs releasing him so he could bask in some kind of sunlight in San Diego.
Worst thing was he was still on a team that is followed by that demon thundercloud overhead nightly.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Those are great pics, and wow Alfonso If I was in the MLB I would come to play any day. Even If I was riding the bench, which I would.

Johnny
http://13mlb.mlblogs.com/

I agree. Even if it is a nightmare, it is a dream for many fans.
Alfonso is officially an idiot! Like those pictures, too. They do well in proving your point.

-http://the3rs.mlblogs.com/

RR — Good points. Don’t forget how quickly the fans will turn on their beloved sCrUBBIES. It’s downright scary; I’m sure Gaudin is pleased with his new home.
Johnny — That’s the spirit!
FBC — Thanks. Yeah, the kid’s lookin’ good… it runs in our family ;-)
–Jeff

First off, your nephew is absolutely adorable, even when he’s depressed wearing Cubs gear. But he still needs to see the light. He has time. :) As for Soriano, he’s a jerk. If I showed up my job not ready to work, I’d be fired. And whatever job I get when I’m back in Chicago definitely won’t be paying me $17 million a year. I’ll probably be at the mall making $8 an hour if I’m lucky. When I have the chance to do something I love and get paid for it, you bet your *ss I’ll be there ready to work every day. God, I hate Alfonso Soriano!
Jen
http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com

Thanks, Jen. He is a looker (like his uncle ;-) The days never get easier for those who rally around the sCrUBS.
–Jeff

Haha, Alfonso Soriano is my least fave player! Gosh. My blog is http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/ if you ever wanna comment!
-birdland

Reminds of several Septembers ago I gave my baby nephew a Texas Rangers pacifier…he choked on it.
:^)
–Jonestein
http://jonestein.mlblogs.com/
Note to the humor impaired: I don’t think they make Texas Rangers pacifiers.

Nothing like a gratuitous typo to ruin a perfectly good joke.
-Jonestein

Great stuff, Jeff as usual.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com

Probably more likely you pinched the poor boy to make him cry cause he was wearing cuby gear…..LOL
~Peter~
Outside the Phillies looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Oh, and I’m stunned at that comment by Soriano, what a knucklehead. THE freaking dream job and he has days that he is does not come prepared. It’s attitudes like this that drove me away from following ALL professional sports for several years….GRRR!
–Jonestein

Wow, can’t argue with any of what you just said. Well reasoned, no doubt. Yet, the standings indicate that the vaunted Cardinals–who obviously have their stuff together, right?–still can’t run away from the Brewers and Cubs with the division.

Parity, or mediocrity?

No doubt, the Cubs suffer from the latter. But to be only 3 1/2 back going into a big series with the first place team at the halfway point of the season after the horrendous things that happened to the Cubs in the first half (gasp, gasp) is a minor victory in itself.

Let’s see how this series plays out. Should be a good one.

But if you guys get Halladay and Holliday (the announcers will love those moves), then game over, man, game over.
http://raysfanboy.mlblogs.com/

Birdland – I’ll check it out, dude. No worries.
Jonestein – I must be a genius cuz I still got your joke (typo included). And they give out Cubbie pacifiers here in the Chi. They do a lot of baby-cryin’ y’know.
Dillon – Thanks!
Peter – I didn’t, but will remember that next time if he happens to be smiling in the pic. I would have to get past my sister first though. You know how mammas can be. Feisty!
Rays Fan Boy – You make an excellent point. No one expected the Cards to be where they are now, so I don’t think we can be disappointed. Still, the Cubs at only 3.5 back, are a scary bunch, injured and clueless as they may be. I think it’s a matter of parity. Except for the Pirates, everyone in the NL Central has a shot at this point.
–Jeff

I hate to be the bearer of bad news – but did you boys see this:

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/Never-scare-us-like-that-about-Erin-Andrews-agai?urn=ncaaf,175760

Sorry…..and your nephew is ADORABLE!

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com

Julia — Yep, we saw it. I cried. A little. But she’s fine… just FINE. And Ffffffffffffffine.
–Jeff

Re: the Erin piece(blog post, that is) – I realize that everyone is entitled to their opinion, I certainly have my share, but it really ticks me off when I hear/read that got-dayumed phrase “Baseball is boring.” Makes me feel like the Geico Caveman.

I’m with ya, Jonestein. It ain’t right and I ain’t havin’ it.
–Jeff

over paid and arrogant…the keys to being successful in the mlb

http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

over paid and arrogant…the keys to being successful in the mlb

http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

Pittpeas — I’d hardly call Sori a success… not this year anyway… but I get what you’re sayin’. Thankfully we do have guys who hustle and come to play everyday: Pujols, Pedroia, Griffey Jr., Reed Johnson… these are the guys we should look up to.
–Jeff

Wow, the Cubs look like they don’t get along quite well and it doesn’t help with these outbursts of frustration. The Cubs need to change things up a bit.

As for the St Louis Cardinals, things are looking great and they look like they are going to run away with the NL Central with plenty of production from Albert Pujols, Yadier Molina, and Ryan Ludwick (could’ve been in the All Star game too)

Matthew T.
http://matt7.mlblogs.com/about.html

Matthew — I really wish I agreed they’ll run away with it. As bad as the Cubs have been, they’re still in it (for now). And the Brewers, as long as they can pound out hits like they do, are definitely a contender. But let’s keep our fingers crossed for the birds from the ‘Lou!
–Jeff

Poor kid, of course he likes the Cards better! He, like the rest of us, is simply blown away by the awesomeness that is Albert Pujols. Or maybe he just has gas in that second photo. Either way.
-Erin
http://plunking-gomez.mlblogs.com

He also gets that from his Dad, Erin ;-)
–Jeff

Soriano is a really piece of work.. Almost fitting for the Cubs though.
LOL at the pics of your nephew. I feel sorry for the kid. Tell his father he doesn’t seem to have Cubs “pride”.. Leave the poor young one alone, lol..
- V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]

I will do that, V, as soon as I can get his restraining order against me dropped.
–Jeff

Wow, Jeff you are getting up there! I was at 31 and that is my highest! My last three posts I have gotten
31, 30, 26, and I am already at 12 on my recent post I did at 2 o clock so maybe I could get 35. Please check me out
http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/

Jeff thanks so much for commenting! I hope I get to be on the top 100. I know you will so hopefully,….. see u there!
http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/

Birdland — Don’t sweat it. RSBS was the most trafficked MLBlog of 2008 and I’m here to tell ya, there ain’t no prize. Just have fun yo. Just have fun.
–Jeff

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