Buzzing with Testosterone Fueled Accoutrements
I did it. It’s done. It’s bad^ss.
Keith Hernandez, say hello to the Lady Killer.
Gotta admit, since crafting the ‘stache, I creep myself out every time I catch my reflection, but I fit right in here at the All-Star festivities in St. Louis. An old man in a Mets hat even asked me for my autograph (he thought I was Thomas E. Dewey until his caretaker reminded him that Dewey died in the early ’70s). So I did the right thing, lied and told him I was Dewey’s son.
That was a stellar start to what turned out to be a pretty disappointing day.
Because after only three outs were recorded in the Futures Game the sky turned black, thunder cracked and it rained… and rained… and rained…
A lot.
After walking the concourse for four hours, drinking my weight in beer and buying more overpriced All-Star trinkets than one person will ever need, me and my buddy decided to book.
So we met some friends, went to a bar and watched the Cardinals beat the Cubs.
Good friends, good game, good times.
And today is gonna get even better. Admittedly, I’ve never been a fan of the Homerun Derby. Watching it on TV is about as boring as watching Nascar: boring! But I have a feeling that being there, in right field, in prime homerun territory, it’s going to be something to remember — especially if I snag some homers using the swagger and intimidation factor of my new accoutrement: the Lady Killer ‘stache.
Watch out!
In order that my aging father can find me easily during and camera shots of right field, I’ll be donning my 1980s era Montreal Expos jersey and cap — making this a special occasion indeed.
So here we go, folks… All-Star fun in full effect! I will fight my way down to get a word with Erin… and in case you missed that Lady Killer, here are some more photos:
The Stan Musial statue is quite stubborn and refuses to allow “FOX” to be shown in its entirety:
Pirates prospect, Brad Lincoln, signs autographs while secretly pouting that he’s in the Pirates organization:
US America rocked by St. Louis Cardinal hats… very cool:
A kid fighting to stay on his feet… and dry:
Me, rockin’ the ‘Spos cap with my friends Brian (left) and J.W. (right). As I write this, Brian is heading out to Iraq for another tour. Keep he and his family in your thoughts.
Alright y’all… hate me ‘cuz I’m gonna catch a homerun tonight, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right (even when I’m wrong).
Peace,
Jeff
Red State Blue State 
Great post, sorry about Brian, I hope he is safe, Please comment.
http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/
Great pics! Thanks for sharing, you lucky bas…guy! Your porn ‘stache is awesome but needs a whocka-whocka soundtrack to go with it…get the interns on that, will ya?
;^)
–Jonestein
http://jonestein.mlblogs.com/
Great pictures and I LOVE the ‘stache! Good luck meeting Erin!
Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/
Cal — I hope so too. Will do, dude. Chill.
Jonestein — I like the sound of that yo! I’ll work on gettin’ a band to follow me around.
Julia — Thanks! More reportage to come…
–Jeff
The ‘stache is quite awesome, despite the fact that I’m a tiny bit creeped out by it. Thanks to Brian for heading back out there. True hero. 🙂 Good luck with Erin, and take lots of pictures. I’m still jealous you get to go to these things while I’m stuck in San Diego, packing up an apartment.
Jen
http://ajroxmywhitesox.mlblogs.com
YO…I will also be attending the Derby tonight, and sitting in the right field bleachers! Section 507, top row, in the powder blue McGee. Come on up and say hello.
Chris
http://bird-brained.mlblogs.com
Thanks for the comment! I will be back here. COmment again please 🙂
http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/
Jen — At least the weather’s nice! I’m glad I’m not the only one creeped out by my own image 😉
Chris — Mos def!
Cal — Okay, dude. I gotchya.
–Jeff
Jeff,
I about a month people will be thinking you are Keith Hernandez’s little borther with the killer 70’s ‘stache.
Montreal Expos. Well then you have to go down and chat with Rays Bullpen Coach Bobby Ramos, who was the back-up catcher behind Gary Carter in all those years in Montreal.
He has some great stories, and do not be surprised if he does a dance or two during the events.
He is a dancer that Ramos.
Awesome that you got to hit the Futures game, but sadly it was a rain-shortened event. I wish I was there.
Rays Renegade
http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com
I like your stache! Definitely “lady killer.” Just make sure you don’t get beer or food in it while you’re talking to Erin. Big turn off.
– http://janeheller.mlblogs.com
Good luck with everything, I think the ‘stache will help you out a ton.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com
have fun tonight! i loved going to all the festivities in Pittsburgh in ’06. keep the pic coming I’d love to see all the action. (don’t really appreciate that low blow about the Pirates organization, but hey its the truth)
http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com
RR — I’m close to the NL bullpen but might saunter over there and holla at Ramos. Thanks for lookin’ out!
Jane — I’ll make sure to have my hanky to take care of such unwanted material (stole the hanky from a Twins fan during the ’87 WS).
–Jeff
Dillon — Thanks, man.
Pittpeas — Yeah, often (especially in Pittsburgh) the truth DOES hurt.
–Jeff
Jeff,
Tell him Cliff, his Season Ticket buddy down in the RF corner at the Trop sent you over there. Both Bobby and Scott Cursi are friends of mine.
Ask him to show you his motorcycle dance.
Rays Renegade
http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com
RR — Sweet! I definitely will! Thanks!
–Jeff
Firstly, Brian’s the MAN… the HERO… hope he gets back safe
The ..tache, not sure about, had one for years, somewhat bushier than yours, but that was how you wore them then, the best thing I can remember about having a tache was…
no matter, what, who or whom you did the night before, one lick of that upper lip and you’ll quickly remember….
have fun at the Derby tonight..
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com
Well, I now hope Albert wins, because Grady isn’t going to be in it this year like he was last year. :} Bet your happy about a Tribe fan rooting for Albert, huh? 🙂 Hahaha. & Well I dont think they have gave up..but I can tell there as miserable as I am right now. Victor is not hitting well, and he is going to be representing us in the All Star Game! Which doesnt make sense.. and every time a homer from the other team is hit off one of our pitchers, they run for it but when they see it go out of the park they just stare at it, like they are shocked. I honestly dont blame them.
http://tribechick.mlblogs.com/
Jeff – So this is where you hang out. LOL! Nice Expos hat. Hope you have a BLAST and that that cap and jersery can get you noticed by your dad! Enjoy!
Canuck
http://watercooler.mlblogs.com
I don’t know if it is the hat, the glasses, or the ‘stache, but it works. Don’t be surprised if Erin Andrews herself swoons. And it won’t be because of the brain damage she suffered the other day…
The Expos hat is quite classic. I bet you could get $1.25 on eBay for that thing.
Seriously, though. You are a lucky guy. Have a great time and make sure you keep updating the pics–they are as close as some of us is ever going to get! Enjoy!
http://raysfanboy.mlblogs.com/
Dewey’s son or Giambi’s younger brother?? Have a wonderful time. I’m still jealous.
Lori
http://luckylori.mlblogs.com
Very nice Lady Killer picture. Haha keep on commenting Jeff, and good luck with the All Star game
http://balorioles.mlblogs.com/
-Cal’s Corner
Digging the stash. Now everybody has one in the Cards, I wish I could grow a stash. 19 years and I can only grow a bad shaped beard. I want a Cardinal’s stash.
http://allincards.mlblogs.com/
Giambino bareeeely pulled it off.. Bruney tried this year.. the porn ‘stache is just too 2008.. But because it’s you, I’ll give you the propz, lol. 😉
All-Star festivities looks juicy.
– V [ http://flairforthedramatic.mlblogs.com ]
Doesn’t the restraining order stipulate that you hafta stay at least 100 yards away from Erin?
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
The Cardinals are great for hosting this All-Star Game, hopefully it will translate into a win for the NL for the first time in about 14 years! You’re one lucky fan, hopefully you get to go to the All-Star Game in person too.
Matthew
http://matt7.mlblogs.com/about.html
Oh my god… the ‘stache. I didn’t actually think I’d see one. I looked for you last night, of course, I guess I wasn’t really expecting to see you. It might be wise to rid yourself of the mustache before you meet Erin. Just a thought.
Emily
http://deconstructingthoughts.mlblogs.com/