Why We Love LaTroy Hawkins

latroy hawkins.jpgThere was a time when LaTroy Hawkins acted as a personal savior of mine; because I knew the minute he came into a ballgame wearing that Cubs uniform, the chances of them losing took an astronomical leap.  While those days may be over — and the nomination of the world’s worst reliever has shifted to the awkwardly clumsy Kyle Farnsworth — I am happy to report that LaTroy Hawkins has given me yet another reason to worship him.

During Monday night’s game against the Cubs — as an Astro — Hawkins verbally and physically questioned the merits of homeplate umpire Mike Everitt, which eventually got him tossed.  Since then, Hawkins has suffered from a severe case of logorrhea and has had no problem jawing out at Everitt.  Now, Major League Baseball is investigating the incident.

“I have my own opinion, and he had his opinion,” he [Hawkins] said.  “He [Everitt] thought I was showing him up.  I saw Alex Rodriguez do way worse when I was in the American League.  He undressed the umpire.  Whatever he said, it was in his face.  It’s America.”

You’re damn right, LaTroy!  It is America!  It’s US America and I don’t care who you are — Alex Rodriguez or not — one should never be allowed to undress the umpire.  Who does this Rodriguez fella think he is anyway?  Some pretty boy poster child for Details magazine?  What a pompous sicko!

We applaud you, LaTroy, for saying what we were all thinking and going after the bad guys behind the plate.

And in the future, LaTroy, instead of getting into a war of words — a war that is rarely won by a journeyman reliever — you may want to follow the stellar example set by Chinese professional athletes and just pulverize your enemy:

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

12 Comments

I’ve hated LaTroy Hawkins for a long time, but for completely different reasons. I didn’t watch the game but remain unsurprised at the Astros’ bullpen’s ability to piss everyone off. Remember Shawn Chacon?
Despite the fact that home plate umps have collectively needed LASIK these last couple of seasons, it’s not the pitcher’s job to deal with it. It’s QuesTec’s job.
Kylie — http://kylie.mlblogs.com

I’m not sure that most umps could actually outrun the players.

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Kylie — How COULD we forget Chacon? Walking blog fodder, that’s what he was/is. If only QuesTec had a mouth…
Julia — Good point. Still, we’d like to see them get the chance.
–Jeff

LaTroy Hawkins is showing his guts right there. Too bad the umpires don’t get the message most of the time. I say we had some of the funniest reasons for ejections this year, we might set a record.

Matthew T.
http://matt7.mlblogs.com/

What about that guy “Hawksworth” on the Cardinals? He could be a cross between Hawkins AND Farnsworth.

http://www.statisticianmagician.com/

It might be fitting that he is now a member of the Astros, since his behavior questioning the umpires have put him ” not of this world” right now.
I was talking to B J Upton the other day after a game and he said he doesn’t understand why he is not getting the low and away pitch called a ball anymore.
Well, maybe it is becuase you are pulling a “LaTroy” and spewing out cancerous insults to the umpire’s generational lineage.
Some of these guy do not get it that you have to take some of the BS to get some back in return at the plate.
The “give and take” message has been there for a long time, why can’t they see it, or at least respect it.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Matt — I think Hawkins had a point, but he went about it wrong. But guts? Yes. He’s got ‘em.
Joe — That is an eerily hilarious observation. Kudos, man.
RR — Good point. Guys like Jeter get calls because they’re civil and very good at manipulating umpires by maintaining class and composure… and it hurts me to say that because he’s the captain of the Evil Empire. Maybe BJ could learn a thing or two from the most evil one.
–Jeff

I wish you had translated the narrator’s comments for us, Jeff! But I’m with Julia. I doubt any of our umpires are in the kind of shape to outrun a player (or do a nifty roll in the grass).

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

soccer is such a violent sport these days…. I am confused doesn’t LaTroy Hawkins look in the mirror, he doesn’t look anything like A-Rod and his uniforms a different color…and…and…how sick is that wanting to undress an umpire…eeew…maybe thats why he’s Texas
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Kylie has the right idea. Lasik all around!

And boy, those Chinese soccer players sure are violent… o_O

- Lisa
http://perennialpinstriper.mlblogs.com/

Jane — Basically they are detesting that sort of “violent” behavior. It’s the party line, y’know.
Devilabrit — I dunno who he thinks he is… one thing is true: he has NOT the clout of A-rod who can baby his way around umps ad nauseum.
–Jeff

Lisa — I’m for LASIK too. And, yeah, don’t mess w/ China. Ever.
–Jeff

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