Illusionary Tactics

illusion.jpgYesterday, my unequivocally nefarious and visually challenged colleague, Mr. Krause, finally posted his two-month late debt which required him to pose for the camera while proudly donning St. Louis Cardinals merchandise accentuated by a bright, broad smile across his face.  Obviously, there is little doubt as to how disingenuous the smile was; but I must admit that even I was shocked at just how low Mr. Krause stooped to eschew what would be considered by everyone else in the world to be a rightly just punishment.

Here is the picture:

allen_cards_bet.JPGSure.  On the surface, everything seems in order… until we zoom in a little closer (thanks for the assist, Jonestein):

Allen in hat close up.jpgHmm.  Is that a photocopy of the regal S-T-L taped on your cap, Al?  And what is that underneath the pasted cover-up?  Is… is that… is that a Washington Nationals cap!?!?!?! (click *here* for reference to that same Natinals cap)

*Rich white people in the suburbs of Detroit whail in painful disgust.

Congratulations, Al, on not only embarrassing me and Cardinals fans worldwide, but for also abandoning your own people during a playoff race.  Nice.  Indeed, you are the Sarah Palin of baseball fandom!

But Allen’s experiment with the not-so-magical isn’t the only thing causing the masses to rub their eyes today.  Note to all Major League managers not named Tony LaRussa: If Albert Pujols steps in with the bases loaded, for Lord’s sake walk the man!  Last night, Jerry Manuel found out rather quickly what everyone else seems to already know when he decided to have Sean Green pitch to Albert, only to see Pujols launch yet another grand slam, which ultimately led the Cardinals to victory.  For the record, in 2009, Albert is a disgustingly sick 7-9 with the bases loaded, including five (YES, FIVE!) grand slams.  If you think you’ll get A.P. to swing at something stupid in that situation then you deserve to be beaten.

And while we’re on the subject of idiocy…

obama joker.jpgThis photo has been dancing around the interwebs faster than Kevin Gregg can blow a 9th inning lead; but let me tell ya, just like Al’s photo above, this is all wrong.  I’m not talking about the actual lampooning of our president as a joker — that’s all fair game as far as I’m concerned — what bothers me is that the word “SOCIALISM” appears below the Obama-as-Heath-Ledger-as-the-Joker image.

Come on now.  Socialism?  Look, the Joker was an anarchist.  There was nothing social about the Joker at all.  The closest he ever came to socialism was wanting to kill everyone for no reason other than to just kill everyone.  So if you’re gonna roast the Prez then at least make sure you get your metaphors — visual and contextual — correct.

“Fool me once… shame on… shame on you.  Y’fool me y’can’t get fooled again.”

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

31 Comments

That first picture is awesome, wherever it’s from.
If you’re going to tape something over the Natinals logo, at least tape it securely! :D
Kylie — http://kylie.mlblogs.com

oh hi Jeff, thanks for the birthday wishes. That cap is pretty funny.
http://catlovesthedodgers.mlblogs.com

Haha that’s sweet. At the ejnd of the season you should hand out a whole bunch of Sarah Palin awards. Just imagine, ‘The Sarah Palin award for youth work goes to…Tony Bernazard.”The Sarah Palin award for mediocrity goes to Jason Giambi.’ The possibilities are endless.Ashhttp://ashleymarshall.mblogs.com

#2 guys! Congrats!

Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/

Kylie — Not sure where it’s from. I had it on my computer saved from a long time ago. And yeah, the Natinals? Please. Al is so weird sometimes.
Cat — No prob! Hope it was a good one!
–Jeff

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Oh Al, when are you gonna learn? LOL. Looking at that picture now, it’s painfully obvious that that’s a black and white photocopy. It’s also painfully obvious that we’re all blind for not noticing it in the first place. Fail.

And touche on the Obama/Joker thing. Jeff – 1, right-wing America – 0.

- Lisa
http://perennialpinstriper.mlblogs.com/

Ash — Good idea. I have a feeling Allen would win his fair share of them ;-)
Julia — Thanks! Didn’t even know but we’ll take it!
Lisa — Nothing makes me happier than beating — I mean, defeating Right-Wing America and their she-devil, Ann Coulter.
–Jeff

Yeah, Grady is pretty great.
Haha, I like the illusions.
http://tribechick.mlblogs.com/
-TC

TC — Lots and lots of them these days, eh? Like Cleveland as a contender in 2010…Haha.
–Jeff

Leave it to the Republicans to screw up a metaphor. They could at least get it in the ballpark:

http://jonestein.mlblogs.com/socialism.jpeg

:^)
–Jonestein

Jonestein SCORE! Unbelievable! You’ve got some REAL talent there, pal! I LOVE IT! Thanks!
–Jeff

The Sarah Palin of baseball fandom! I love it! That was some pretty crappy cap-altering he did. He could at least print it on red paper though so it looks more real, I mean c’mon that was pretty obvious.
http://metsmainman.mlblogs.com

Metmainman — Besides being the Sarah Palin of baseball fandom, Allen is also Captain Obvious.
–Jeff

Keep up the good work! Congrats on being in the top 5!

John
Baseballs 4 MADD – MLBallhawk
http://ballahwk.mlblogs.com
http://mlballhawk.com
@mlballhawk on Twitter

Thanks, John. Will do.
–Jeff

hahaha lets put a smmmmmile on that face. can you see Brack saying that? I cant

http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

Upon further inspection, Allen does kind of have a “maybe this will fool them” look…
Emily
http://deconstructingthoughts.mlblogs.com/

I’m confused, (not hard to do I know) but is Al collecting hats from teams that suck!.. although I guess it’s not an isult covering the Nats logo, just putting a Cards one on a Nats hat….your right on the joker thing….you need more severe punsihment for Al, he doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously….
~peter
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Why a Nationals cap? Of all the teams….why oh why….
Congrats on being in the Top 2!
Ginny
http://watercooler.mlblogs.com

Pittpeas — Did you say “smile” or “simlie”? LOL. Looks SIMILAR. :-)
Emily — Yep. He was born with it.
Peter — Yeah, Al is a pseudo-politician you know… it’s in his blood to flip-flop loyalties depending on the situation.
–Jeff

Ginny — Thanks… Al… well, he’s been a resident of DC for some time now. That has to be part of it… still, it’s no excuse.
–Jeff

That picture of the book was pretty cool.
-Dillon
http://dillonm.mlblogs.com

Dillon — I try… I mean, I just had it for some reason. Got it off the internet somewhere a while ago.
–Jeff

Justin is doing well for us, so I’m glad about that. Plus all the guys we brought up because of these trades have done very well, especially the hitter, Trevor Crowe. It’s actually not looking to bad. Hahaa! The midges would love that, I bet. Congrats on being #2 on the standings!!
http://tribechick.mlblogs.com/ -TC

TC — I trust your enthusiasm is all merit-based, so you go girl!
–Jeff

Apparently, Jeff, everyone is fascinated by that first picture you have, further proving, you never know what you’ll find when you stop by Red State Blue State.
Emily
http://deconstructingthoughts.mlblogs.com/

“The Sarah Palin of baseball fandom.” LOL! Good one.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Emily — Y’never know….. HAHAHAHAHA!
Jane — Appropriate. I stand by it ;-)
–Jeff

OMG, soon we will have dog and cat living together………mass hysteria in the Motor City.
Maybe it is time for a real “robocop”, and his firsat duty can be to find Alan and take him out…………just kidding…maybe.
The “Sarah Palin” line was a instant classic.
And congrats on the two-fer standing in the Latest Leaders list.
Being neck and neck like that the past year just shows you how good we have gotten. Be glad you are not down in 13th where the water is always cold and the women too.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

5 grand slams and Allen’s wearing a nationals cap.
I missed a lot in a week

Johnny
http://13mlb.mlblogs.com/

RR — Sometimes all ya want is a cold one. Been there, done that ;-)
Johnny — Indeed. Much can change in just one week. Tough to keep up!
–Jeff

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