The Great Yo’ Mama War
Oh no. There he goes again. Indeed, dear readers, my errant and oft annoying colleague, Mr. Krause, is in desperate need of some verbal “fire” — the vitriolic, infernal, flesh-eating kind most notably invoked by the devil and his evil minions.
He did the unthinkable.
He threw down the gauntlet.
He insulted Albert Pujols’ mama.
Where does Mr. Krause find all this idle time to waste on shameless maternal attacks? As a Cardinal fan sitting on top of a 10 game lead in the NL Central, I can certainly see where I would have the time from now until October. But Mr. Krause would make better use of his by pondering the pain he will feel once his streaky Tigers get eliminated early on in the ALDS.
Meanwhile, I’m feelin’ pretty damn good… so good that I’d like to just go on a rampage and say:
- Miguel Cabrera’s mama is so ugly, she makes Willie McGee look like a GQ model!
- Carlos Zambrano’s mama is so lazy, she makes Big Z look like a hard worker!
- Ryan Braun’s mama’s teeth glow so yellow, she can almost lead the Brewers out of the darkness of the NL Central! (nah, nothing glows that yellow)
- Manny Ramirez’s mama is so dirty, her batting helmet has a biohazard label on it!
- And, of course, Mr. Krause, yo’ mama is so dumb, she’d probably fall for this lame Glenn Beck advance:
Hate me ‘cuz I come back fivefold, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Happy Friday!
Peace,
Jeff
Red State Blue State 
There are just some people in this world who need to wait about 30 seconds each time before they speak. Glenn Back is one of them.
Julia
http://werbiefitz.mlblogs.com/
I’m with Julia. What a sanctimonious tool.
–Jonestein
Juila — I agree. Papelbon would be another.
Jonestein — Never has the word “sanctimonious” been used so cleverly. I dig it.
–Jeff
It’s all in the delivery and where it’s delivered…cause that line works for the guys at Girls Gone Wild, but not by someone in a suit, with a smug smile, and looking uncomfortable, didn’t anyone tell Beck he has to poor a couple of alcoholic beverages down a girl before making a request like that…
~peter
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com
Peter — Guess that line works better on young boys in airport restrooms… so I’m told.
–Jeff
Jeff- LMAO… I am not sure I even want to touch that one… maybe that’s a bad expression….but it does generate some questions…who the hell told you that?… what was the conversation about?… how did the conversation get on to that subject?… thats like a whole new subject for a post and you left yourself wide open for Allen to launch an attack….LOL….
~peter
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com
Jeff- I thought you were going to say Billy Bean, you know the former Tigers player..hahaha
~peter
Hehe. Perhaps, Peter. Perhaps. A little bird named Larry Craig told me that one 😉
–Jeff
Glenn Beck’s a perv. And I can spot the pervs. Believe me.
We don’t wanna know what’s on the guy’s hard drive.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
I agree Pap should think before he speaks….
Ginny
http://watercooler.mlblogs.com
Another name to go on the “think before you speak” list: Milton Bradley. That’ll be all.
– Lisa
http://perennialpinstriper.mlblogs.com/
Prince — You’re right. I definitely don’t.
Ginny — Indeed.
Lisa — Oh, he’s the president of that list/club.
–Jeff