Whoop-Dee-Doo!

Gary Sheffield: The Original Milton Bradley
gary sheffield.jpgBefore there was Milton, there was Gary.  Yes folks, Gary was whining and crying and kicking the dirt and picking fights and pissing off fans and management and teammates and saying stupid things long before Bradley.  And now, as if shown up by woe-is-me Milton, Gary has announced he’d like to come back and play in 2010.  So even if Milton is teamless next year, we can still count on Sheff to aggravate the baseball cosmos… if any team is willing to take him that is.

Twitter Babes?
Besides using it to piss off professional baseball players, I have found Twitter to be an excellent tool for networking and socializing with like-minded baseball nerds.  Of course, Allen and I get our fair share of spammer tweets, but I had never seen anything like this before:

green apples.pngA direct message from new RSBS follower @carol_laurent (from Chicago – where I live) saying:

“I LOVE GREEN APPLES!”

My response?

“I LOVE GREEN APPLES TOO!”

Of course, this is not a real person.  It can’t be.  Looking at her (his? Its?) page you’ll see it’s just a long string of random non sequiturs.  But boy was I duped!  Without a gibberish username, grainy profile pic and messages like “please visit my nude profile”, I guess I got *ahem* quick handed.

Where the Hell is Allen?
In case dear readers are wondering, my loquacious and oft incoherent colleague is still very much alive.  He’ll be back.  Soon.  He’s sorta recovering at the moment.  You see, he had an issue… an issue with his… esophagus.  They even made a movie about it:

Itchy portrayed me with excellence I must say.

Hate me ‘cuz I’m cruel, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

23 comments

  6. redstatebluestate

    IBDB — I like Minaya. This year wasn’t his fault. He’s rolled the dice and it’s worked out (except the last two weeks of the ’08 and ’07 seasons. We’ll see though. You may get your wish 😉
    Lisa — Comic relief or comic pain… in the end it’s always comic.
    Julia — I know. It’s amazing ain’t it? Just my luck. Al will be back… with a vengeance I’m afraid.
    –Jeff

    Reply
  7. raysrenegade

    Jeff,
    Just be glad she did not say she had a lovely bunch of coconuts, that could have spawn an FBI investigation into improper food transport over state lines…..or worse…..She could have plugged her website with a virus of massive proportions to her coconuts.
    Twitter can be fun tho, but when you reach a huge follower number, then see that Twitter does a spam/scam/bam test and rids you of a third of them….It bums you out for a day.

    Rays Renegade

    http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

    Reply
  8. Michael David

    It was no suprise to me that the Tigers dumped Sheff at the beginning of the season. Now it looks like they just might make the playoffs if they can keep ahead of the Twins.
    I, too, love green apples as much as watching the Simpsons. I’ll try to give some love to the Springfield Isotopes on my blog in the near future.
    Mike
    http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

    Reply
  10. redstatebluestate

    RR — I’ve been bummed by that several times actually. But green apples, coconuts, etc… that keeps my spirits high 😉
    Mike — Ah the Isotopes… didn’t the Dodgers steal that for one of their affiliates? Boo.
    Jenn — I know you do! Haha!
    –Jeff

    Reply
  12. redstatebluestate

    Prince — I agree that Milton’s in another world, but unfair to Gary? Really? Nah. Dude is a clubhouse cancer. He whines, he cries, he says dumb s***. He has little regard for those around him and it’s all about Gary and what Gary wants all the time Gary, Gary, Gary. Sure, he’s put up some impressive numbers but I’d think twice before adding him to my team — especially now since he’s unable to do much besides take some hacks at the plate.
    –Jeff

    Reply
  13. Jane Heller

    First – get well, Allen!

    Second, spammers on Twitter are hilarious and so much fun to block. There’s something really satisfying about hitting that link that forces them to stay away forever!

    Third, Gary is Gary in the second year wherever he goes. He’s an angel in the beginning, then shows his true colors after everyone begins to think he’s changed.

    – http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

    Reply
  14. redstatebluestate

    Jane — Spot on analysis. And you might be surprised that Allen really enjoys the taste of his own esophagus 🙂
    –Jeff

    Reply
  15. stonebutch99

    Jeff, how about some real melons next time? I’ll start coming here for my recommended daily allowance of fruit. 😉
    I will never forget getting blocked by a Houston sports personality on twitter. Now I’m subjected to other fans talk about how great the loser is.

    http://stonebutch99.mlblogs.com

    Reply
  19. Buz

    Itchy and Scratchy… hilarious. Funny thing on your entry comment. I was having lunch this afternoon with Dick Williams (yup. that one) and Milton came up. I told him he reminded me of Sheff!!! Crazy that I then come home and read this. Crazy I say. : )

    Buz – http://buzblog.mlblogs.com/

    Reply
  20. redstatebluestate

    Buz — LOL. That’s awesome! Great minds think alike, eh? Next time you see the Skipper, let him know I still consider him the Face of the Expos and I mean that in a very positive way.
    –Jeff

    Reply
  22. redstatebluestate

    Emma — Wagner Mateo’s contract was voided because he failed a physical and has several “pre-existing conditions” that would hinder his becoming a Major League baseball player…among them, not being able to see real well. That’s the story. They’re not saying much else than that so far. Stay tuned!
    –Jeff

    Reply

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