This week’s filibuster question is being addressed by a longtime colleague of RSBS who, while he may not always makes people happy, always provokes a response. Maxwell P. Framington, take it away.
Since you guys are into politics, too, I wonder if you thought about how
the League Championship Series sort of mirror politics. New York
money, two L.A. glitz and glamor teams. Philadelphia. Where is middle
America in all of this?
Troy, middle America is exactly where it belongs right now. At home, cooking meth before hitting the bar in hopes of subsequently procreating with whatever is left standing (or sitting or laying passed out on the floor). After too many years of mediocre teams from cities that no longer matter stealing the limelight and torpedoing the television ratings, baseball is right back where it belongs. On the coasts, with the intellectual and monetary elite.
I’ll grant you this, Troy. We may not always be there for the first pitch and we may not stay to see the final out but we do appreciate the roar of the crowd as we sip on our organic vodka gimlets. And let’s be honest. It doesn’t really matter anyway since our seats are all owned by the corporation and it’s better that we grace them for a moment as opposed to letting them sit empty the entire evening.
The dirty little secret that you really should have figured out by now Troy, is that middle America only matters in election years. And even then, only a small fraction of its residents truly count. And that’s true of both baseball and politics. Are you really not going to tune in for a Dodgers-Yankees World Series? Of course you are. You have nothing else to do out there except harvest corn and fire up a little more speed in your favorite broken light bulb. But if it’s the Tigers and Cardinals playing, who on the coasts is going to care? We have restaurants, culture and important jobs. If the team that we occasionally proclaim loyalty to isn’t playing, we’ll just go work on getting that reservation at Babbo instead.
But don’t worry, Troy. Next year is mid term elections so you can be sure the politicians will work their way out among the proletariat once again and bring you that attention you seem to crave so much. And you can also be sure that some team from a state who’s entire population is limited to seven last names as a result of inbreeding will once again find themselves in the playoffs. Personally, I’ll be planning my Christmas ski vacation. What do you think, Troy? Heli-skiing in the Andes or the typical chalet in the Alps?
-Maxwell “Max” P. Framington
RSBS would like to apologize for Max’s comments. We forgot that he’s also kind of a d!ck.