The 2009 RSBS World Series of Metaphors (Game 2)
In this epic best of three game battle of metaphors — mixed, extended, absolute and beyond — Jeff and Allen pair wits and leave it to YOU, the dear reader, to decide the champion.
The humbled loser will be forced to shower the winner with a carefully constructed essay of praise.
The Topic: Jayson Werth
Suggested by: xcicix from Bringing Diamond Back(s)
Jayson Werth steps into the box, a hyena scavenging for whatever scraps he can claim from his constantly shifting place in the pack. Something stolen here, something taken down all by himself there, the fear comes from never knowing what he might do. You wonder how something that looks so ridiculous could do so much damage but the crunch as he feasts on yet one more victim forces you to simply accept him for the beast that he is.
At your annual summer family reunion picnic, Jayson Werth is that fun-lovin’, cigar-smokin’, joke-crackin’ drunk uncle who never has a problem being the life of the party, on the spot, whenever he is asked. He is also that same uncle whom your mom and dad won’t ever let you be alone with — the one who disappears every time a cop drives by, the one who considers Jager Bombs to be one of the four major food groups.
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