Pla-Po Leaves MoTown

placido polanco.jpgWell, if the “news media” and its “official reports” are to be believed, it appears that Placido Polanco will be leaving the Motor City for the City of Brotherly Love. Pla-Po (a name I gave him that just doesn’t seem to be catching on) will take his Gold Glove and join the not quite World Champion Phillies, leaving Detroit slightly more sucky. If that’s possible.

Now, as bad as this news is, it was made worse because I found out about it in the same way I inevitably hear about most bad news involving the Tigers, a gloating email from Jeff:

I’m sorry for your loss of of Polanco back to the Phils. 

Tigers suck.

J

You know what else sucks? You suck. You……sucker.

There, now that I’ve finally added a certain level of maturity to the discussion maybe I can move back to the important question which is, what do we do now? My lucky wood carving of Simon Bolivar practically screams out to address the problem by acquiring more Venezuelans. But I think the number of Chavistas on the team right now already leaves the Tigers in danger of imminent nationalization at the hands of El Jefe. Not that this would present a problem for Detroit considering what has happened to its other industries.

No, the solution lies elsewhere. And since I’ve always believed that uncertain times call for intellectually suspect and overblown measures, I’m pretty sure I hit upon the perfect plan. I am calling for Lou Whitaker to step out of retirement and once again man second base. Of course there will be naysayers against my “Draft Lou” campaign but those are the same people who say that it was a bad idea to put a banker in charge of regulating the banking industry. That worked out all right in the end so why shouldn’t this? Come back, Lou! Let’s see some of that 1984 magic all over again.

-A

7 Comments

Why would Pla-Po leave Detroit, when he can buy an entire stadium for $583 grand? He can have the Pontiac Silverdome all to himself and his homeys–plenty of elbow room! (And can even afford to equip it with a state-of-the-art Jumbotron! Hmmm…

forgot our URL

http//:yankeeholics.mlblogs.com

Pla-Plo!!!! LOL that’s a new one! :)

If your boys trade Granderson will you please bring back Chet Lemon? I love Chester.

If we’re going down this “Draft Lou” campaign, I think the Tigers should shelve Rodney as the closer. Then they can bring back Willie Hernandez, the AL Cy Young/MVP winner during that exceptional 1984 season.

Jonah
http://jonah77.mlblogs.com

Maybe you could bring back Denny McLain. Oh, wait. Is he in prison again?

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

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