Ninemen’s Morris: A Reign of Dominance Will Commence!
You are a dung-encumbered
(Just thought that I would
Ok. Throw your bananalla peels at me, for I
readily accept them. While I am
typically a soothsayer unparalleled in my ability to prognosticate outcomes in
all matters, sporting and otherwise, I must nonetheless admit an insipid
failure. In the ante-annum, I was quoted
…while the Detroiters seem
to be a lock to waggle the pennant American (hopefully they will be able to
hoist it a few times before Cobb uses it to rid his posterior of residual
defecate), they will nonetheless fall hard in the World Series, at the hands of
Chicago’s dear Orphans, the mighty child bears, the blessed Cubs themselves.
While the Bengals of
Windsor’s cross-water tongue-thumber did, indeed fall in Global Series
showdown, it was not at the hands of the mighty Cubs, but rather the
scurvy-lipped Buccaneers local to that intersection of Three Rivers known for
its defecation of steel. Local-boy Honus
Wagner, though on the down-slope of his career, was somehow able to rise up and
help the Alleghany Arses take the match-up in seven. He out-hit the cur Cobb .333 to .231, and
stole six bases, establishing the new Series record.
I was so angered, that I took
all of my Honus Wagner baseball cards (I had roughly 30 of the brand new T206
series) and relieved myself on them before setting them on fire. I guess I must find something else to leave
my unborn (and unconcealed) son.
If I have been silent for
some time, it is out of shame.
But let it be stated
now! In 1910, the Chicago Cubs will once
again win the World Series, once again placing this, the greatest of the
nine-men’s quorums National or American, once again at the pantheon of the
game! A reign of dominance will then
commence that will surely last the duration of the Millennium, and far into the
What say you, Quigley?
- – -
‘Alabaster’ Eastman Thune
Former editor of the “Follies and Whatnots” section of the Chicago Inter-Ocean.
“Alabaster” is known for coining the popular quip: “An Irishman and
his whiskey are like the Father Sky and his Sun – you are guaranteed
that the latter will show up in the former each day of God’s blessed
For more on the nature of Ninemen’s Morris, please click *HERE*