That’s What “Z” Said!
Spring training is underway, folks, and that means it’s time for a Chicago Cub to say something outlandishly stupid!
In 2007, Carlos Zambrano predicted the Cubs would win the World Series.
They did not.
In 2008, Ryan Dempster predicted the Cubs would win the World Series.
They did not.
In 2009, Milton Bradley predicted the Cubs would win the World Series.
They did not.
So who will it be this year? Will it be cockfighter extraordinaire Aramis Ramirez? How about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Soto? What about newcomer Marlon “Gee, I Hope the Bleacher Bums Don’t Give Me the” Byrd? And what if everyone keeps their mouths shut?!?
Worry not, dear readers, for staff “ace” (I guess being fat, lazy and hot-headed constitutes as being an “ace” even if you only win nine games) Carlos Zambrano got a head start on the stupid train last September when he vowed he would retire after 2010 if he had yet another poor season.
Uh… yeah. Okay. And Alfonso Soriano can hit a breaking ball low and away.
Something tells me that even if “Z” does have another poor season (and I sincerely hope he does), he still isn’t that stupid to leave a guaranteed $55 million on the table, to walk away from the game.
Then again, this is Carlos Zambrano we’re talking about.
So hate me haters ‘cuz ya love to hate, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I”m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Red State Blue State 
Jeff, I can only hope that his throwing arm is mauled off by a couple of loose pit bulls in the neighborhood before opening day.
//Mike
We might not even need pit bulls, Mike. He’s certainly capable of mauling off his own appendages… all of them.
–Jeff
I know you’ll hate me for saying this, but I like Soriano. He drove me crazy when he was a Yankee for swinging at every pitch, but he seemed like a good kid.
– http://janeheller.mlblogs.com
Is Soriano going to be the one this year to forecast that the Cubs will win the WS in 2010? Or is he waiting until Big Z retires? Hmmm… Big Z would be a fool to walk away from $50+ mill. He has a couple screws loose (which may account for his appendages), but I don’t think he’s THAT off his rocker.
Hatin’ is a good way to keep the ‘ol blood flowing. It’s like havin a gun in Dodge City…keeps people real. Beltran and Wright I believe go to the same speech therapist to correct their ‘speakus outus o posteriousis’
http://thebrooklyntrolleyblogger.mlblogs.com/
Jane — He seems like a nice guy, sure, but I’d hate to have him on my team nowadays as he looks clueless. That hop thing he does is obnoxious, his defense is terrible and he strikes out way too much. Did I mention his lopsided contract? Leave it to the sCrUBS 🙂
Greg — I wouldn’t put it past Sori… as for Z, yeah, he just might BE that off his rocker.
BTB — I likus yourus stylus.
–Jeff
I think the next Cubs player that says the Cubs will win a World Series this year should be traded at the deadline, like Nomar when he was with Boston in 2004. Maybe then the Cubs will win a World Series.
-Holly
http://irishsoxkid19.mlblogs.com
Holly — Nah, I’d rather they keep him. We’re AGAINST the Cubs winning it all, don’t ya know!?! 🙂
–Jeff
I might be a homer, but I’m drinking the Zambrano Kool-aid this year.
http://wrigleyregular.mlblogs.com/