The Amazing Prophet Jeffery
Just because something gets printed doesn’t mean it’s true. And that’s a good thing, when you stop and think about it. Some of what you come across on the internet is just plain crazy. I’m no fan of Bush but insinuating that he was partially behind the 9/11 attacks? That’s stupid.
However, there are also less bombastic claims that are nevertheless just as ridiculous. For instance, my friend Mr. Lung has explained exactly why it is that the Tigers will fail this upcoming baseball season. And he does make some good points. But making a prediction like that at this point makes no sense. Are the Tigers worse off than the White Sox, Indians, Royals or even the Twins? No. Are they a noticeably better or worse team than the one that went to the World Series in 2006? No. So how do you make a prediction like that?
This whole prognostication business is beyond silly. Watching Mel Kiper play with his big board every year before the NFL draft really only leads to one logical conclusion. With that hair and board, he’s obviously compensating for something else. Listening to Glenn Beck talk about the failure of our monetary system and the need for his listeners and viewers to go out and buy up gold really only leads to one logical conclusion. He obviously is holding a substantial position in the gold market. And hearing Jeff lambaste the Tigers’ chances before training camp has really even started only leads to one logical conclusion. He has no idea what he’s talking about and just wants to start a fight.
So, once again, I am forced to take the high road and refuse to yield to his illogical intimations. We’ll let this play out the same way it has for more than 100 years: On the field. If the Tigers’ pitchers throw like they did in ’06 and their hitters connect like they used to, we’ll do well. If not, Jeff will claim he knew it all along. That’s the beauty of making nonsensical predictions. 50% of the time you’re right all of the time.