You guys talk a lot about baseball and politics. What do you think
will happen first, national health care or the Pirates having a winning
Eureka! This is proof that dear readers galore are finally playing to our strengths here at RSBS, so even if your baseball team (or your government) does fail you, know that RSBS will always have your back (unless we’re busy doing something else, of course). I, personally, love taking below-the-belt hacks at the lowly likes of Pittsburgh’s not-so-finest, so I am delighted that our friend Beth here from Allentown, PA was willing to groove one right down the middle, in my proverbial wheelhouse.
Because this one is almost too easy:
We, the people of US America, will most certainly have a nationwide public option health care system set up before we ever see the Pittsburgh Pirates finish a season with a winning record.
Sorry, folks, but it’s just true.
Have you been paying attention to what the Bucs have been doing the last ten years?
No, of course not. Why would you?
I assure you, dear readers, no other team relishes in arbitrary head scratching more than the Pittsburgh Pirates — a team caught in the perennial chaos of “rebuilding” — a rebuilding that is always abandoned before any plus remnants of said rebuilding can be seen, only to be followed up with more rebuilding in moves that still don’t make sense.
Here is but a shortlist of brain-busting Bucco moves from recent memory:
- Signing Akinori Iwamura
- Dumping Nate McClouth (they did get McCutchen up quick because of this deal, but look for them to screw this up too)
- The Aramis Ramirez & Kenny Lofton for Bobby Hill, Jose Hernandez and Matt Bruback trade
- Drafting Bryan Bullington and passing on Prince Fielder, BJ Upton and Scott Kazmir
- Signing Derek Bell
- Paying Jason Kendall $10 million a year for SIX YEARS!
- Signing Raul Mondesi
- Drafting John Van Benschoten over David Wright
- Cutting Bronson Arroyo
- Picking up Matt Morris’ contract (worth $13 million)
This is just an abbreviated list; the full record of crimes against baseball committed by the Pirates’ front office are too many to present here. But I can tell you this: it will take an awful long time before such atrocities are remedied with the results of a winning season. I have no doubt about that.
But what about national health care, you ask? House Leader Nancy Pelosi says lawmakers are on the “verge of making history” with the strong possibility of a public option becoming a reality… very soon. Of course, they don’t say when, or how, considering the staunch stance of Republicans and soft Democrats blocking the way. So what are we supposed to make of this?
Look, I admit, the Democratic party has certainly had its share of Pittsburgh Pirate-like moments over the years. How else can one explain the incompetence of John Kerry and the loss of Ted Kennedy’s senate seat? But that doesn’t mean all hope is gone. Behind this political push to join the rest of civilized nations we do have a clear and just motive:
To stop penalizing people for getting sick.
As long as this continues to happen, I have a hard time believing in my country. This was my main concern when I went to the polls in 2008. The Obama Administration — while obviously not gifted with super powers like election propaganda may have led us to believe — has tackled this issue and tackled it hard.
And it can only get better from here… I think.
So hate me ‘cuz I still tout liberal ideals, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right about the Pirates continuing to suck.
(Image courtesy of Rum Bunter)
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