The Filibuster

Guys, the season is starting in a few days and I still haven’t seen an
honest to god prediction out of you yet.  What do you think?  Is there
anyone who can keep the Yankees from repeating?

-Lee
Sandusky, OH
____________________________________

We haven’t made any predictions yet?  Oh yeah, I guess predicting that the Detroit Tigers will suck this year isn’t really a prediction, it’s just a known fact.  Considering that it is that time of year when everyone is making some sort of bold statement as to who is gonna win and who isn’t, I think you’re right, Lee.  It is time for RSBS to jump into the prognostication pool (that sounds like something one would find in Vegas) and so we do as only we at RSBS (I, Jeff, not Al ‘cuz he’s a slacker) know how.

Shall we?
(subliminal messages start now)

kourtney kardashian bikini.jpgNL East
Compared to its AL counterpart, this division isn’t quite the sexy beast it used to be.  The team to beat is the Phillies; and while the Mets look to give a better effort than last year if healthy while the Braves and Marlins lurk behind with plenty of potential, I still don’t see how the Phillies can lose this division.  Oh wait.  Yes I can; his name is Brad Lidge.

Yet I think the Phils still win it.  Ya can’t get much worse than Lidge was last year and they still won the league.

Phillies.  Probably.


jenna fischer 2.jpgNL Central
Come now, is there really any competition here?  Yeah, sure the Brewers can bop with the best of them but have you seen their pitching staff?  Exactly.  The sCrUBS?  Er…. no.  The Astros?  Stop playin’.  The Pirates?  The Pirates!?!?  Ha!  The only team in this division who might give the Cardinals a run is the Cincinnati Reds, and for that to happen Aroldis Chapman and Johnny Cueto have to both deliver the goods like seasoned professionals (they’re not) and Aaron Harang would have to keep his ERA under 10 (he won’t)… not to mention the fact that Dusty Baker would have to not destroy someone’s arm (he will).

Cardinals.  No question.

heidi derosa.jpgNL West
Hmm.  This is an interesting division.  My heart says San Fransisco but my heart also says I should be able to drink a fifth of scotch and still be able to dance the merengue with some amount of poise.  In other words, my heart is a goddamn liar.  There are too many question marks in the Dodgers young pitching staff that I can’t put my money on them.  So I turn towards the Rockies — a team with balance, a team with Tulo, a team with purple pinstripes.

Rockies.

San Francisco joins as the Wild Card.

erin.andrews.jpgAL East
Yankees, Red Sox, Yankees, Red Sox… bla bla bla.  Not this year, folks.  Yankees, Rays, Yankees, Rays… and Brian Matusz.  The Yankees are the best in baseball.  Hard to argue against that.  The 2010 Red Sox are not the Red Sox we’re used to seeing.  They made a major mistake by not bringing back Jason Bay and they’re gonna suffer for it.  The Rays… this is the year for them.  It’s now or never.  And just for fun, let it be known that Brian Matusz of the Baltimore Orioles is one hell of a pitching phenom and a reason to tune into their games every once in a while.

Yankees win without even trying.

Rays take the Wild Card.

lucy liu.jpgAL Central
With so much money going towards roster scrubs and the recently anointed singles-machine, Magglio Ordonez, the Tigers of 2010 will look more like the Tigers of 2003.  Okay, maybe not that bad, but still, they ain’t goin’ anywhere.  The Twins will be in the race, but I suspect they will be playing a lot of doubleheaders this year due to that new open air stadium; and their team is still built for turf.  I don’t see them catching the White Sox, who in my opinion have the best starting five of any other team in the Majors.  If Peavy stays healthy and Floyd and Danks kick it up a notch, I don’t see how they could be beat.  Keep your eye on Gordon Beckham too.  He’s gonna be a superstar.

White Sox.

Allison.Stokke.jpgAL West
Like its National League version, this division causes me fits.  The Rangers are right on the cusp of doing something great; but then I look at their pitching staff and see a bunch of crooked numbers on the board against them.  The A’s?  Uh… no offense, but if you rely on Kurt Suzuki to produce all your offense, I cannot take you seriously.  The Mariners look like they should be much improved; but I’m not drinking that kool-aid yet ‘cuz as of now, they haven’t done jack.  And how can I possibly bet against a proven winner, a team that gets it done year after year after year? 

The Angels win the West.  Why?  ‘Cuz they do everything right.

And they have a rally monkey.

Playoffs
Now when you put all these pretty teams together, choosing one over the other is no easy task.  They’re all yummy winners.  They’re all well-proportioned hot.  They’re all doable talented.

So what is one to do?

Personally, I like to fantasize about a world where they’re all in the same room, having fun and going at it with uncompromising competitive bite.  But understanding how unrealistic that is, I guess I have no choice but to choose one. 

Or two.

These two:

jenna fischer 2.jpgAnd again, my lying, cheating, pipe-dreaming heart tells me that the Cardinals are better than the Yankees.  Yet, I’m smart enough to know that saying as much is not only unrealistic, it’s just plain fantasy.

Still, one can dream, right?

Hate me ‘cuz I get ya all flustered, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not
together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster
question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at
kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Unwanted Victoria Secret catalogues and bootleg copies of Predators also welcome.

(all images scraped from the interwebs)


18 Comments

Too much fantasy from the images you were posting…. you know in your heart that the ******** are gonna just tank this year and leave it to the ******** to loose to the *******, obviously anything but Cardinals here would be conceived as bad words that’s why they censored me….

~peter
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Num, num, num, Peter, you got me to laugh, even if your statement is farcical! HAHA!
–Jeff

ROFL i love it!!! Though why does AL west have Minka? Can we have Lucy instead? :D I love Lucy Lu ;)

interesting predictions we’ll see how they play out!

http://mimi.mlblogs.com

You must have gagged while you were making the AL East prediction, Jeff. But I sure hope you’re right. I’d love to see a Yankees-Cardinals World Series. But for now I just want our teams to stay healthy! Let the games begin!

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

That, Mimi, is California’s very own Allison Stokke… my secret lover. Okay, maybe not my lover, but she’s fine nonetheless!
And yes, Jane, I’m still gagging from the truth on paper… but that’s why they play the game. Bring it on!
–Jeff

i cant me too mad at you for not picking the pirates to take the NL Central because of the fantastic Jenna Fischer pic. Ever see walk hard: the story of dewy cox? not only is it hilarious, jenna looks great too
http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

I barely made it through this post without a trip to my bunk….and how kind of you to give us proles in the AL West Allison Stokke!
–Jonestein

Matt — Haha. I knew you’d enjoy that. I’ve heard of that film, but haven’t seen it yet. It just got bumped up the netflix queue though.
Jonestein — She is a Cali gal, so I figured it would fit best, though I bet she could use some mid-western care ;-)
–Jeff

I’d love to say “No Jeff, you’re wrong….the Astros will be right there.” They actually could make some noise, but the planets have to line up a certain way and there can be zero significant injuries because this team has zero depth. It is looking like the Cards…again. ::sob::

htpp://stonebutch99.mlblogs.com

We’re in sync in certain spots; not so much in others…
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
http://princeofny.blogspot.com/

Austin, I kinda hope the ‘Stros kick it up a notch. I like what Wandy and Norris could do… lots of potential there. I miss the old days when we’d fight tooth and nail with y’all. It’s not as fun when it’s a cakewalk… how many more cliches you think I can use in this response to your comment? LOL.
–Jeff

Prince — I learned to see what I see from you.
–Jeff

Yes, it’s definitely not the Sith!! I was just thinking the same about their pitching staff…

*HOOO-PURRRR-HOOOO-PURRR*

Haha, you guys are just too funny. It’s a good thing I don’t usually look at the pictures. I think that the Dodgers will surprise you. Kershaw will have a great year.
http://catlovesthedodgers.mlblogs.com

Cat — What’s wrong with the pictures? I think they’re lovely :-) Kershaw is due… very, very due. I like lefties (cuz I am one).
–Jeff

Sorry, I didn’t read one word of the post. lol (pics)
http://clevelandbaseball.mlblogs.com/

:-) Num, num, num… I understand, Indians. I understand.

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