Losing to the LOLstros

hunter pence LOLstros.jpgAs a proud paragon of Redbird loyalism, I still pompously refuse to forgive and forget the awful defeat handed to us by the Houston Astros during the 2005 NLCS.  That… was… awful.  I think I went on a two week bender.

I don’t remember.

But I do remember one thing: I do not like the Astros.  So you can imagine my grief, dear readers, as I watched their bid for an 0-162 season come to an end on Thursday… again, against the St. Louis Cardinals.

WTF IS IT THAT MAKES BUD NORRIS SO UNHITTABLE TO THE BIRDS ON THE BAT?!? EH!?!? WELL!?!?!

Whatever.

That one little win (their first win) is just that: one little win.  It doesn’t change the fact that the Astros suck. 

So yeah.

And it’s times like these — when jaded, seething, vexed — that I turn to Japan… for a little glimpse of happy time:

Ah… nothin’ makes me smile like a psilocybin-fueled walking canine with a crowned doll head pushing doggie treats to unmonitored and impressionable little kids.

Happy Friday, Y’all!

Jeff

*Special thanks to Shan for coining (and sharing) the term “LOLstros”, which is effing hilarious (and true). You can follow her on Twitter here: @Shan_Cake

11 Comments

Wow. I can see I’ll be having nightmares for like, a week or so. Time to take another drink of beer and try to forget this one.
I always had another name for the Astros, but I’m sure it’d get blocked…
-Mike
http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

Very strange. What on earth is that product? Some sort of hallucinogenic snack food? As for the Astros, I had another name for them back in 1980, when the Phils battled it out with them for the NL pennant, but it may be the same as Mike’s. Let’s just say it was anatomical.
Sue
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

I too have a hatred of the Humid DissASTROS.
Cheers BurrillTalk!
It could have been worse for that kid…he could have been a sofa pillow. That dog looked pretty “happy” to see him.
Mike
http://thebrooklyntrolleyblogger.mlblogs.com/

Mike — Yeah… I like that name too. As for the nightmares… welcome to my world.
Sue — I’m pretty sure they’re doggie treats. That 1980 NLCS was one of the best ever played though wouldn’t ya say?
Mike — Glad you noticed the “happy” part, lol. I was too busy burying my head in shame to notice.
–Jeff

Well done my friend.. you take fuel the standard Cards fans hate the Mets and then pull a complete switcheroo to get me laughing.

http://kingedhorn.mlblogs.com/

I have no name for the Astros because I never think of them at all – like never. Maybe I should start. Love the dog. Clearly, he needs his own reality show.

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

so glad the pirates leased out their spot in the cellar. however it may only be a month sublet, we could most likely be moving back in
http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

You can make that TWO little wins now Jeff!
Did Jane actually say she never thinks of the Astros AT ALL- like never? That hurt because I’m sure I’ve mentioned the Astros to her before, I guess she has a block on me.

BTW-I’m not “LOL-ing” at the LOLstros. ;)

http://stonebutch99.mlblogs.com

I guess the Cards are getting used to losing now, they seem to have taken a liking to it, since they are doing it more often these days… with teams that well…. SUCK….. and why was that dog covering it’s privates up with a plate in each hand, you sure that isn’t one of those illegal Japanese videos…

-peter
Phillies Outside

Kinged Horn — I think I understand your comment. Wait, no I don’t :-)
Jane — You’re not missin’ much.
Matt — Dude, I hate to say it but I like what I’m seein’ from the Pirates thus far. Pretty impressive.
Butch — As long as it’s against the sCrUBS you can win as many as you like! Go for it!
–Jeff

Okay, so what do you call the Phils losing to the Nats then, Peter? Hehe.
–Jeff

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