Larry’s Bad Day

larry king.jpgFor the last man in the universe who still religiously employs the use of both suspenders and shoulder pads, the April 21st edition of the New York Post couldn’t have been too flattering.

Or could it?

Okay, so according to the Post, Larry’s wife (we’ll call her Shawn)* allegedly had an affair with his sons’ little league coach (we’ll call him Hector) but allegedly King — who, by the way, is a rabid Los Angeles Dodgers fan — didn’t really care ‘cuz he was bonin’ Shawn’s sister (we’ll call her Manny)** on the side.

Great.

Got it.

Sexy.

And I must admit, I first heard of this story via that awful fear aggregator also known as The Drudge Report with the headline: “Little League Coach Claims Affair with Larry King’s Wife”.

At first I was really angry with Drudge (which is quite common) because I found that headline to be recklessly damaging to the institution of little league baseball — an institution that made me the sound, boisterous, STUBBORNLY CORRECT individual I am today.  I thought, “Oh, okay, now Drudge is attacking little league. Let me at him!”

Until I read the story… and realized that it was little league baseball that brought them together.  It brought them all together in one place, to interact, to make whoopie.

And it was at that exact moment that I realized the bar, the club, the beach might not be the ideal place to meet Ms. Right.

So if you need me, I’ll be at a little league ballpark near you hollerin’ at the single moms and estranged wives of the rich and famous.

Don’t worry, Mrs. Kucinich, I got ya on my radar.  Muah!

Hate me ‘cuz it’s allowed, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

*That’s her real name.

**I meant to write “Shannon” but was too lazy to change it.

12 Comments

Whats funny about this is people like Woods and Bryant can say to King… eat sh*t and die cause you’re no different than me… but that would be hurtful… okay he’s a Dodger fan, isn’t he friends with George Michael too… just in case you’ll missed here’s the answer to the Mad Larry Disease rampant in New York… from the ‘Ugly Americans Show’

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=307999&title=mad-larry-disease

-peter
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Peter, thanks for the tip. I hadn’t seen that so consider your duties fulfilled for the day. Right on!
–Jeff

That’s what you call playing the field.
Hey Whatever. All is fair in Love and War.
Larry the CryptKeeper King should be happy anyone is even willng to come 10 feet near all that loose skin. I don’t think Larry could score in a woman’s prison with a carton of cigarettes under his arm. But that’s me.
mike
http://thebrooklyntrolleyblogger.mlblogs.com/

As a Little League coach, this is not surprising. I was once told ‘the key to the draft is selecting the kids with the hottest moms’. Nice.
-Mike
‘Minoring In Baseball’
http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

Mike (BTB) — I am willing to agree with you on that. 100%. Lovely image too ;-)
Mike (MiB) — Great advice! I want to coach a team now. I know everything I need to know.
–Jeff

I’m not sure which is more disturbing, the idea of Larry King having sex, or the photo of Manny that you linked to. At least it’s shoved aside an equally unpleasant mental image of A-Rod that got stuck in my head this morning.
Sue
http://rrrt.mlblogs.com/

I never thought of the Little League games as a field of dreams for other pursuits until the Shawn and Hector thing. LOL.

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Sue — I think the Larry King reference is more disturbing…though not by much. Were you thinking about A-Rod and centaurs this morning? LOL.
Jane — I know. It’s like waking up to find a whole new world just waiting for you to enter it! I’m in!
–Jeff

After I heard the news of Larry’s 7th(?) divorce, I said “no wonder I didn’t see his wife with him on Opening Day.

Lot’s of little league teams could use your help Jeff. Just not sure what kind of action you will find there but…you never know where the future Mrs Jeff is.
.
Check this picture of Larry King (without makeup). It is from last year during Spring Training. He was nice to pose for a picture and he signed my baseball. http://crzblue.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/03/meanwhile_back_at_the_ranch_pa_1.html

Emma — Seven!?!? Wow. What’s stopping him from hooking up with Elizabeth Taylor? Haha.
–Jeff

i adore Larry King but how can one man go through THAT many divorces! Goodness.. there must be something seriously wrong with his love life….. i love CNN & his show I watch it every day :P

http://mimi.mlblogs.com

i love larry king but not his personal life lol! How can one person go through that many divorces? Talk about ruining the sanctity of marriage. I love CNN and watch his show all the time though

http://mimi.mlblogs.com

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