RSBS Presents: Jesus’ Greatest B-Sides

guitar_Jesus.jpgNot content with being just the son of god or co-author of the best-selling book in history, Jesus has been on a rampage as of late.  Whether showing up in professional athletes’ thank yous or inspiring American presidents into wasteful wars thousands of miles away from American shores, JC has moved up in the world from simple carpenter to internationally recognized architect.

In honor of Jesus’ (pronounced a la espagnol) spate of success, it only seemed fair that we honor him like we have honored other life changers.  But how do you go about honoring a man with such an impressive resume?  The hits are so well-known that repeating them just seems, well, repetitive. 

So, we came up with another measure.  Every best selling artist has a set of secondary works that, although impressive in their own right, never make quite the same splash as the ones set on repeat.  However, maybe it’s time they get a little airplay of their own.  To that end, RSBS would like to present Jesus’ greatest B-sides.

Personal Jesus
jesus_haiti.jpgWe’ve all heard the story about how Jesus gave someone the confidence or the extra push they needed to make it through something difficult.  But what about the guy who wasn’t able to get that second wind and ended up flat on his face 2 miles short of the marathon finish line?  Was it because Jesus tripped him?  Turns out that Jesus really is always there and often responsible for the failures.  In fact, we now have proof (although it is only available via an artist’s rendering of the occasion).

Just the Two of Us
There’s nothing wrong with having an imaginary friend.  I had one named Paul when I was growing up.  Sometimes that imaginary friend can be a big d!ck, though:



Jesus Hates the Cubs

No list would be complete without the modern day favorite and RSBS production, Jesus Hates the Cubs.  And it’s extra funny because it’s true:

So, there you have it, a contemporary hit list of JC’s lesser known smashes.  Keep ‘em coming, big guy.  You must have another Crusade in you at least.

-A

6 Comments

Jesus H. Christ, that was greatness. You’re on a roll Allen!
(and JHC never, ever gets old)
:^)
–Jonestein
http://jonestein.mlblogs.com

Alan,
You had to go Depeche Mode on me didn’t you.
But then again, it is an awesome song, even got a dozen remix selection on I-Tunes.
But, I do have my own personal Jesus, who is a reliever for the Seattle Mariners, but hopefully he has not been asked to walk across Puget Sound yet……yet for that team.
But then you have to go and pull another RSBS classic out, but then again….Jesus and the Devil both hate the Cubs, so it is a love-hate thing we got brewing there.
Maybe we can get Keanu Reeves to play Constantine again and he dig into this whole Jesus thing from the dark side…maybe.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

AAaaahhhh! After visiting Jeff’s alter-ego site…as soon as I saw the first pic in this post, I was already rollin! Jesus may hate the Cubs but those were great views of ChiTown.
Jesus in the Park would’uv needed a miracle to escape the beat down he wudda got here! I know the Chi ain’t puttin up wit that nonsense either. great vids!
mike
http://thebrooklyntrolleyblogger.mlblogs.com/

shared those vids with buddies on facebook. hilarious! im cracking up at work!

and Jeff the Pirates send a big you are welcome for sweeping the Cubs! See your boys at PNC Park this weekend!
http://pittpeas.mlblogs.com

That first Jesus in the park reminded me of the GEICO caveman only with facial hair. Always laugh at the JHTC vid. Just to clarify, does this mean you hate the Cubs more than you hate the Yankees?

- http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Interesting. Thought provoking. Weird.
http://catlovesthedodgers.mlblogs.com

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