Bermuda Triangle, Meet the NL Central
Why bad things happen to good people, why Hanley Ramirez is a lollygagger, what happened to Nancy Pelosi’s original face… these are all concerning issues without concrete and true catalytic roots.
They simply cannot be explained.
And just like boats and planes and people that disappear within the Bermuda Triangle — scoffing at science, bending the rules of reason — so too are the circumstances of the National League Central Division and its teams as mysterious as they are unanswerable.
So let’s see if we can get this right:
The Pirates suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Cubs.
The Cubs suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Brewers.
The Brewers suck but they are able to beat the hell out of the Pirates.
The LOLstros may deal Oswalt and/or Berkman but no one is really watching or caring anyway.
The Cardinals are in second place.
And Dusty Baker hasn’t ruined anyone’s career yet as his Reds stand on top of the division.
I have a feeling this may be one of those FML moments. Of course, it is only May 18th, so it’s still way too early to start complaining like a Red Sox fan.
But seriously, folks, I really would like to know what happened to Nancy Pelosi’s original face…
Holla if you have any tips; in the meantime, don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.