September 2010

Pirate Exercises?

pirate exercises.jpgNotice how none of them include baseball?

No surprise there.

And I know my own Redbirds had their problems with these pesky losers, but the Pirates are 16-60 on the road so far this season and I haven’t bashed them in quite a while, so… yeah.

Hate me ‘cuz my visual aids are top notch, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Image courtesy of 9GAG)

Desperocracy

bat_chavez.jpg

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  When you’re the long-serving president of a country and your re-election chances aren’t looking so good, you just pass a couple laws, tweak the electoral system slightly and then sit back and watch as the votes start rolling in.  Except for when they don’t, like what happened this past weekend in Venezuela

Now, we love our Venezuelans over here at RSBS, especially when they come in the form of Ozzie Guillen or Miguel Cabrera.  And we really love the neverending stream of inspiration Senor Chavez sends our way.  But Chavez had better put his game face on or the Bolivarian revolution might go the way of Bolivar himself (He’s dead, in case you were wondering).

But this sense of desperation hasn’t limited itself to just Venezuela.  A similar aura of dread has definitely enveloped the Mets’ locker room and front office.  In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if we just popped on the ol’ television here for a second and found out something new:

Well, I guess that about says it all.  And if any of our loyal readers need help polishing up their resumes before making a run at a position with the Mets….or the presidency of Venezuela…..feel free to send them our way and we’ll take a look.  It’s what we do.

-A

Morgan vs. Volstad Redux, Part Dos

“Maybe I’m a bad friend for laughing at my buddy’s misfortune.”
– The lugubrious and oft insolent Mr. Allen Krause (September 27, 2010)

allen loves the tigers.jpg

Hmm.  Talk about misfortune

Wow.  Get a room, guys.

And let us not forget one bit of increasingly important information, Mr. Krause:

While your extended metaphor of dueling fists may pin me as the hot-headed, intelligence-challenged Nyjer Morgan to your taller, more svelte Chris Volstad boasting an extended reach, if you look around… you’ll see there is no Gaby Sanchez to save you.

Hate me ‘cuz I give you reason to, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Special thanks to Rachel at Something, Something who enlightened me to Miggy’s quirky tastes)

Morgan vs. Volstad Redux

Jeff_shaved.jpg

When Jeff and I first started writing RSBS, we decided that our personal emails back and forth insulting the other person’s team and/or mother (usually both) might make other people laugh, too.  The added bonus, though, is being able to take those cheap shots to a public forum.  Fairly or not, I usually bear the brunt of it since Jeff has never met a low blow he didn’t like.  And I accept that.  Truth be told, he’s shorter than I am so most every shot he takes is going to be a little low.

This year is extra fun, though, because despite the Tigers being out of it pretty early on in the second half, the Cardinals really should have been much better.  Like Jeff’s haircut, they have no excuse for failing so miserably.  This makes me happy in a somewhat sadistic way.  It makes me happy because I can picture Jeff watching the games and tearing out his no longer existent hair.  It makes me laugh everytime, the same feeling I get when watching this:

Anyway, maybe I’m a bad friend for laughing at my buddy’s misfortune.  And maybe I’m a terrible friend for including that picture of Jeff.  But if history is any indicator, I won’t need to be sorry for long because Jeff will get himself up out of his booster seat to punch low and hard.  Think Jeff as Nyjer Morgan to my Chris Volstad.

It’s Monday.  Welcome to the week.

-A

The Filibuster

Once again the Twins beat up the AL Central and might even catch
the Yankees for the best record in baseball.  Can we reasonably say at
this point that the Twins are the best run team in baseball?
 
Rob

Duluth, MN
_______________________________

chairman mauer.jpg

All biases aside, Rob, to say the Twins “beat up” the AL Central sorta glides over the fact that, outside of the White Sox, the Twins really had no competition going into the season to begin with; that the White Sox totally derailed (twice!) only made the Twins look more dominant.

But I understand your want, your desire, your dream to cast the Twins in a plushy role like that of the highfalutin, media-darling Yankees.  Well, brother, dream on… ‘cuz, reasonably speaking, the Twins ain’t the Yankees. 

Nor are they the Rays.

Nor the Phils.

Hell, they’re not even close!

In my opinion (which happens to be right), those three are the best teams in baseball right now.  And when you add the qualifier of “best run”, well, sorry.  I really can’t look any further than the best teams.  Period.

Are the Twins good?  Yes.  Are they capable of going all the way?  Sure.  Can I slot them in as the best run team in baseball?  No way!

Believe me, I tip my cap to the entire Twins organization.  They build from the ground up.  They instill in their players the concept of playing the game the right way.  They do the little things well and fundamentally, they are as sound as a team can possibly be.

But when the pressure is on, they fail.  When they need to win the big game, they don’t.  Not yet, at least.  And going into a short series with Liriano, Pavano and Duensing isn’t quite as mortifying to the opposition as going in with Hamels, Halladay and Oswalt (lookout!).

To me, being the best run team in baseball would require, at the very least, a track record of winning when it matters the most — a trip to the World Series would be even better.  But the Twins haven’t been in that situation since Danny Gladden hit leadoff and Barry Bonds had a normal sized forehead.  And despite all the good things the Twins’ brass has done in recent years, can I really celebrate a front office that let Johan Santana go for Deolis Guerra, Carlos Gomez, Philip Humber and Kevin Mulvey?!?!?!?

No way.

I love me some Joe Mauer and Delmon Young just as much as the next baseball dork, but, let’s be honest with ourselves: they ain’t scarin’ anybody.

Yet.

Hate me ‘cuz I think the Twins’ are the weakest playoff link, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Chairman Mauer image courtesy of Twinkie Town)

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Information that pins Mr. Krause as a closet Tea Bagger also welcome (he won’t stop talking about Christine O’Donnell, you know. Just sayin).

200 x 10 = 2010

ichiro_warmup.jpg

Much more than just the word my imaginary Japanese girlfriend mysteriously cries out during moments of passion, Ichiro signifies consistency and well-honed precision.  It’s a pity that he plays in Seattle where those skills will never be rewarded with the digitary hardware he deserves.  Ten straight seasons of 200+ hits, though, should definitely count for something more.

But where do these skills come from?  Was he struck by a radioactive baseball as a youngster?  Like Tyler Colvin‘s recent incident, were his parents speared by a shattered baseball bat and he vowed to take revenge?  Or perhaps it’s something much simpler, a reflection of his heritage:

I mean come on, if you had to run in unison while making sure you didn’t crash into another running someone, wouldn’t the logical next step be using that same precision to ensure contact instead?

Congratulations, Ichiro.  It’s an impressive feat.  But we’re on to you.

Happy Saturday!

-A

Gettin’ Kicked and Gettin’ Injured… Injured Bad

cardinals cubs fight.jpg

When I went mad back in early March waiting in an online queue for over four hours to land crappy, view-obstructed upper deck Cardinals/Cubs tickets for the September series at Wrigley, I was more than positive that my time spent in idle agony would eventually pay off — that, come September, the games would really mean something.

Playoff tune-up.

Heated battle for first place in the NL Central.

Wild card implications.

Wrong.  Wronger.  And WAY WRONGER.

Instead, what we have is a barely breathing, leaderless (no, Albert ain’t the leader) and underachieving Cardinals club squaring off against yet another maybe-next-year, embarrassment-infected sCrUBS team going nowhere.  That’s right.  The Cardinals/Cubs series will end as just another series between two kicked down and beaten up teams that no one cares about.

And that hurts.

Of course, it could hurt worse… like my ‘lil man here explains:

The Cards and Cubs are injured bad alright.  No question.  But at least they wear cups. 

So we hope.

Happy Friday!

Jeff

(thanks to C for bringin’ this kid to my attention)

Here’s Winking at You, Kid

One of the reasons America is the best country in the history of the world is because of our nearly psychotic drive to innovate.  Whether it’s the creation of sports like baseball and basketball or the marketing genius to realize that stuffing a sausage inside of a pancake and then putting it on a stick will sell like hotcakes, Americans are driven to innovate.

However, sometimes that drive hops the median from “nearly psychotic” and crashes head-on into stark, raving mad.  Here’s proof:

Who does this? 

Now, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t mind watching Ines Sainz walking by and winking at me…..

Ines_Sainz_shelf.jpg

….but for chrissakes, guy.  If you want to sell people on a wacko idea, at least put a little effort into the marketing.  We’re Americans.  We love good ideas but we also want to be convinced why we should buy into them.  Even the brilliance of Baconnaise doesn’t just sell itself.

So get out there and keep innovating.  Just make sure that if it’s going to wink at me, I have a reason to wink back.

-A

The Graphic Truth: Things That Usually Happen in September

things that usually happen in september.jpg

Yep.  It’s that time of year again, folks.  And baseball fans the world over have an eye on the purple and black.

With good reason.

Their three and four guys are murdering.  Everyone. 

Did I mention Tulo’s hair?

Believe me.  There are two whole weeks left in the schedule; and this is gonna get good.

Hate me ‘cuz it’s the thing to do, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Races in Stasis

With much of the playoff picture slowly coming into focus, we shift our gaze over here at RSBS to other important races still in progress.  Of course the political scene commands a fair amount of attention with the crazies trying to “take back” the government.  And with Michigan 3-0 on the season and both big state schools beating Notre Dame, I’m loving the college football for the moment.

But what about the race to the bottom?  You would think that KC would have the toilet bowl of the AL Central wrapped up in a death grip but Cleveland still has a very real chance at snatching it back.  Even more amazingly, two other teams in the AL have less wins than the Royals or Indians.

I guess that’s another one of those great aspects of baseball.  Even when it’s over, it’s not quite over.  And even though it may not be pretty, it’s usually entertaining.  Kind of like these guys:

-A

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