Apocalypse Yesterday

2012 apocalypse.jpg

Yes, dear readers, I know that we still have at least 15 more months before Mayan legend is set to destroy the universe, but I’m afraid ruination and chaos might already be here, making 2012 moot.

Don’t believe me?

Well, you know Sarah Palin is on Twitter, right?  Not only that, but she’s also doling out advice to overnight Teabagger sensation, Christine O’Donnell:

C.
O’Donnell strategy: time’s limited;use it 2 connect w/local voters whom
you’ll be serving vs appeasing nat’l media seeking ur destruction


Yes, Christine!  Seeking… your… destruction!  Bwahhhhhhhhhh!  Me want freedom to touch myself!  Me want witchcraft-free Delaware!  Me want answer to Teabagging claim of fiscal responsibility despite inability to pay back your college loans!  Bwahhhhhh!  How dare we demand such clarity!  Bwahhhhhh! 

Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.


werth_hyena.jpg

If not that, then how about the colossal union of two universally disliked MLB wormbags?  That’s right, folks.  Jayson Werth (and his beard) have teamed up with Scott Boras to form the sort of free agent chimera that will have everyone talking more zeroes ad nauseum this winter.  Look, I get it.  Dude wants to get paid.  No problem with that.  But for someone whom the public has already deemed a megafortified jerk, it seems like hiring the sleaziest of the bunch to fetch that money might not have been the best public relations move.  Oh, and it also means he won’t be an Angel next season. 

The Angels handcuffed into quelling big time free-agent magic?  Gotta be a sign of the apocalypse.

Of course, nothing can predict the end of the world is near better than our US American justice system playing host to a caffeine insanity defense, in a murder trial!  Sorry, your honor.  Two Jolt colas and a bottle of Ride-the-Snake diet pills and I just couldn’t STOP MYSELF FROM MURDERING MY ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD!

Um… okay.

It is no secret that I am a caffeine addled man myself.  But I would never use that as an excuse to kill someone.  Insult my going-nowhere Redbirds and maybe we can talk creative defense strategies, but to blame it on caffeine?

There’s no other explanation, folks.  It’s gotta be another sign.

So go ahead and hate me ‘cuz time’s runnin’ out.  Just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

5 Comments

You forgot to mention the Tigers sweeping the White Sox in Chi-town. If THAT’s not a sign….
–Mike
‘Minoring In Baseball’
http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

Mike — Yep. Gotta agree with ya there. What a letdown those Sox.
–Jeff

Werth and Boras have hooked up? Wow. Even A-Rod dumped Boras. What is this world coming to? Maybe Werth will end up on the White Sox replacing Manny.

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

I basically said the same thing about Werth in a different way. The Boss-Street Boss mental connection strengthens!!!
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
http://princeofny.blogspot.com/

Jane — That’s what the Prince thinks.
Prince — What can I say? Brilliance runs in the fam.
–Jeff

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