The Filibuster

What playoff pitcher would you least want to face?

Shannon
Euclid, OH

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I may have mentioned this before but I write about baseball because of how poorly I play.  I wasn’t terrible in the field but I couldn’t even hit those 45 MPH fastballs that kids were throwing in 6th grade.  I could blame the astigmatism or my parents for the genes that created these terrible eyes but the fact of the matter is that I just can’t hit.

So when it comes to facing any playoff pitcher I have to say that I’d prefer to not be up against any of them.  I guess Aroldis Chapman might be the scariest because I don’t even want to know what a 105 MPH fastball looks like.  The fact of the matter is, I’m pretty sure I’d strike out bunting against any starter or reliever on any of the eight playoff teams. 

But wait.  Maybe there is one guy I wouldn’t mind going up against.  If the Braves can pull it together, that means my old buddy Kyle Farnsworth will be along for the ride.  Hey, it’s not my fault they decided to go out and repeat that mistake.  And I’ll bet you good money that he’ll end up burning them in the postseason.  I’d still go there, though.

Here’s the thing.  Chances are that Farnsworth would smoke me.  He’s a professional being paid way too much money for something that he doesn’t do as well as he should.  If he can’t put it by me, he’s a bum.  And if he does, he’s still a bum.  I’m a 31 year old desk jockey.  What business do I have facing down a professional athlete?  Yeah, that’s the one guy I would like to go up against.

I think the chances of MLB inviting me in to face a big-league pitcher are pretty slim.  I’m also not really sure if the results would be more embarrassing to me or the league.  But if they feel like pulling in Farnsy for a few pitches, I’m all there.  

In fact, I’ll even sweeten the pot a little.  If you make this happen and Farnsworth can put ten strikes by me without my even touching them, I’ll never write another word about him in these pages.  If I can get the bat on just one of them, even just barely nicking it, I get his salary for the week.  And if I put one in play, he has to quit baseball forever.  Now that sounds like a pretty good contest to me.

What do you say, Mr. Farnsworth?

-A

***SEND US YOUR FILIBUSTERS****

Something on your mind?  Want to see Jeff and Al sweat (separately, not together, eww)?  Think you got a real stumper?  Send us your Filibuster question(s) by commenting or emailing them to us at kraulung@gmail.com. 

***Pictures of Farnsworth begging Jason Heyward for an autograph “for my kids” also welcome.  Yeah right, Farnsy.  Nice try.

7 Comments

I’d like to face any of them…just to say I did it. I may not hit anything, but it would still be awesome!

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

I’d pay good money to see the Farnsy/Krause showdown.

I’d also give you a week’s worth of MY salary if you charged the mound on him.

;^)
–Jonestein
http://jonestein.mlblogs.com

I don’t think we’d have to worry about know what a 105 mph fastball looks like. We’d be lucky to know what it sounds like.
–Mike
‘Minoring In Baseball’
http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com

I’m not a Farnsy fan by any means, but the guy throws hard! Why would you want to get in the box facing him? Pick Tim Wakefield and his 70mph fastball! Just lay off the knuckler.

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

I see Farnsworth has not responded to your challenge. He’s probably too scared of giving up his pay.

http://threehandsdead.mlblogs.com

I can tell you I would want to face Cliff Lee.
Most would consider that a moronic statement considering the guy throws nasty stuff, but the Rays have delivered him on a plate three times in 2010…So bring on the cheese meat!
Relief pitcher I would hate to face would be Adolis Chapman or Neftali Felix becuase of their raw speed and talent. Should be fun, should be an adventure….Should be more than a few Kodak moments this postseason. I think I need a bigger video card.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

I could’ve written that myself. I also could never catch up to the 45 mph little league heat. My game was in the style of Rafael Belliard, who I am sure would agree I had the “happy feet” that Rod Allen always mentions.

You might as well take a hack at Farnsworth. At least the ball won’t alter its course between his hand and the plate.

Watching Boesch send one of those patented Farnsworth straightballs into the RF seats was one of my season highlights.

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