RSBS Undercover: Jeff as a Yankees Fan, Day 1

jeff as yankees fan.jpg

Yeah, I got a big mouth.

Sometimes it gets me in trouble.  Sometimes it gets me… opportunity.

So that’s why when I told Confessions of a She-Fan author, Jane Heller, that I would throw all my postseason fandom towards the Evil Empire as long as she celebrated series clinchers with pics of she boozin’, I didn’t even think to… well, think.  At least, not too much anyway.

But what’s done is done.  And now I’m in.  With the Reds eliminated, I don’t have anything to lose this postseason… so gimme an interlocking “NY” and watch me chamelonize into a slithering, spoiled, seedy Yankees fan…

Jeff as a Yankees Fan, DAY 1:

7:30 a.m.
I put aside my normal breakfast of greek yogurt and blueberries for an authentic New York Jewish bagel. It’s so authentic, it insults me and tells me to go back to Hobboken.

9:45 a.m.
I tune into Sportscenter and am pleasantly surprised to see my newfound team featured in every, single, friggin’ segment.  Yeah, son! Yeah!

1:35 p.m.

Riding the bus, I see some chumwad in a Red Sox cap.  I am brought to my knees with an overwhelming sense of disgust, nausea and uncontained anger.  I march right up to him and say, “Hey, buddy, how’s the number 27 sound to ya? Huh? Yeah! Eat it, son! Eat it!”  Then the bus stops and I get off as fast as I can.

4:45 p.m.
The office manager was able to send out five faxes, five emails and five phone calls to our customers — all within one work day!  So I showed him I cared by giving him a shaving cream pie in the face.

6:15 p.m.
I turn on Sportscenter and am pleasantly surprised to see my pinstripers featured in every, single, friggin’ segment!

9:30 p.m.
Some jape wearin’ a Twins cap walks by my house so I yell out “Go Yankees!” and he flips me off so I moon him then he throws a rock at my window and then I shoot him.  In the face.

10:45 p.m.
Ohhhhhh what a day.  This Bronx Bomber stuff is really taxing; but it is good to go to sleep knowing that I rest on top of the sports universe — that all professional sports franchises in all corners of the known galaxy must look up at me, in my great big pinstriped bed.  Happy and relaxed, I flip on the t.v. and let Sportscenter and its endless Yankee-love-fest woo me to slumber.

- – -

To be continued…

12 Comments

Excellent job! You’re getting the hang of it already. And I learned so many new vocabulary words…like chumwad. Will use it first chance I get.

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

HAHAHAHAHA…well played, Lung.
However, I feel it my responsibility to remind you that the Yankees suck. Actually, I feel it my responsibility to let you know that, because of your new found alliance, you also suck.
Bad luck to you and yours for the rest of the playoffs.

Cheers.

Steve
http://threehandsdown.mlblogs/

Ah yes, the joys of being a Yankees fan….lol Do not forget to mention that no matter where you live in the world, you can walk into any sports store and find a Yankees cap. Bet they even have them somewhere in Antarctica. ;o)

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Ha Ha. This is classic!!!
http://wrigleyregular.mlblogs.com/

Hahaha great job! I think you nailed it :) Looking forward to day two!
http://hyunyoung.mlblogs.com

I live among them so this was more like a public service announcement on 4:30 a.m. cable. My personal experience is I get them most angry when I mock old Yankee Stadium as the House Where Sparky Spit ~ The House Where Billy and Mickey Drank ~ The House Where Billy and Mickey Threw-Up ~ River Ave Mint ~ The House George Razed ~ Velvet Rope Field ~ BrokeFan BallPark ~ Bankee Stadium ~ Money Clip Field ~ too many to mention. Drives em all crazy here because I tell em stuff they don’t want to hear but is true. You have no idea how much I behave myself on this blog.
Mike

It’s an infestation, it’s a non-stop take over, they make you believe your just acting it out, then they suck you in fully, I see next year this will be a Yankee blog, even Al will have to shape up or get off the blog, it’ll never end till the Yankee flag fly’s above the stars and stripes atop the house at 1600, even the opening to MLBlogs has been infiltrated…

-peter
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Jane — It’s quite necessary to use that word (and often) while in the state of Massachusetts.
Steve — I’ll take it! Bad luck is better than no luck at all ;-)
Jenn — Next stop Antarctica!
Russel — Glad you think so!
Hyunyoung — Stay tuned…
Mike — So, in other words, you love them dearly?
Peter — Al will deal with it. It’d be hard for him to hate the Yankees any more than he already does.
–Jeff

LOL! Day 1 was pretty busy! Can’t wait to read all about Day 2…
Sue
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

Tactical blunder, Street Boss.
Tactical…..blunder.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
http://princeofny.blogspot.com/

I saw the shocking title on twitter and had to come here to check it out. hahahha. And the oscar goes to Jeff.
Emma
http://crzblue.mlblogs.com

Damn you Jeff!
That is why we lost last night.
The ususal red State Blue State machine had somehow went….pinstriped.
It is sad that I live in a (currently) plaid state diversed between red and blue right now and had to learn another frightening fact that your own state of mind had gone …pinstriped.
I will cower into the corner and grieve the thought and process this emotional rollercoaster.
I know for myself, my colors never run or change. But that ius just the Southerner in me, I respect tradition, honor a concrete disposition and always fight the Yankees at any turn.
But then again, your region did fight for the Union army, so you do have a form of Yankee blood in your past.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

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