The Non-Baseball Fan Guide to the Playoffs (Remix)
Jeff and Allen have been very busy
all season long and with the playoffs in full swing, they thought it
might be nice to bring in some relief writers. Today their friend from
college, Frank, gives us his take on the playoffs.
In fact, I don’t even want to talk about it. It’s bad enough that the Mets completely s**t the bed this season. I don’t want to hear about the f*****g Yankees and the no east coast finale. Actually, I don’t even want to talk to you at all right now. You know why? Because you’re an enema. No, you’re my enema…
….Shut up, dude. Of course I know what I said. No, I didn’t mean to say enemy. I meant enema. You know, like your continued existence cleanses my colon.
Seriously, though. I’m not even sure I know where San Francisco is. Is that down in the Village or something? If you want to be straight about things, the Giants are technically a New York team anyway. I guess it would be weird to have the baseball Giants and football Giants in the same town but who cares? And what the hell is in Texas? Nothing I want to see, that’s for sure.
You know what is in Texas that I did enjoy seeing, though? The f*****g Cowboys getting stomped by the Giants. Baseball season is done, bro. It’s football time now. F**k Texas. F**k San Francisco. And you know what, f**k you, too, bro….
…Nah, man, I’m just kidding. I love you, bro. We’re cool. Give me a hug.