God is Screwing With Us

The events of this past holiday weekend finally confirmed a suspicion I had harbored for a while.  God is screwing with us.

Oh yes, I know this is blasphemy.  And to make a statement like this during the advent just adds fuel to the bonfires already being stoked for heretics like myself.  But it doesn’t make it any less true.  Look at the facts.

Fact #1:
On Saturday Michigan lost to The Ohio State University for the seventh time in a row.  And it wasn’t even close.  Consecutive defeats would be bad.  Four in a row is unimaginable.  But seven straight times?  That’s ludicrous.  Terrelle Pryor will graduate (or at least leave OSU) never having known the stinging scorn of the Ohio State fans because of his performance in a loss to the Maize and Blue.  Sure, the Tigers may have picked up Victor Martinez and stolen a little bit of Ohio’s soul in the process.  But seven straight losses?  By comparison, that almost makes this palatable:

Fact #2:
No god that actually liked us would let Leslie Nielsen die on Thanksgiving weekend.  That’s not funny.  That’s just mean.  Sure, Nielsen may not have done anything recently but his work with OJ in the Naked Gun movies made him a legend.  To die at this point instead of at the very capable hand of Mr. Simpson just seems cruel.

Fact #3:
This all leads us to the final and indisputable fact which proves without question that god is screwing with us.  He purposely messed up an NFL game yesterday.  Yeah, really.  It would be easy to believe that Johnson just plain and simple dropped the ball.  Just like it would be easy to believe that a 14-year old virgin gave birth to a kid a couple millennium ago.  But the truth is, it’s just god screwing with us.

Anyway, get out there and live it up this week.  Have fun, go crazy, don’t stop.  And if something does go wrong, just remember that it’s probably god screwing with you.

-A

5 Comments

I don’t watch football, but it was cruel that Leslie Neilsen died, period! He made me laugh so hard during the latter part of his career in all those funny roles. And don’t call me Shirley!

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Used to think God created the Gators because the sky was blue and the Sun ornage, then he let a band of Seminoles scalp them.
It is almost as if the axis of the Earth has been tilted again just a wee degree off its natural center. When God gets blessed and found guilty by abandonement the same day…..Time to check the 50-day supply of food in the bunker mates.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Haha on the OJ comment. During the OJ “chase” year, I carved a pumpkin and named it the O(range) J(ack O latern) It had a little black beanie hat, a bloody knife, a little doll on the ground, a little get away car. the ground was made to resemble a football field with 10 20 30 years, the end zone that I made out of wire was Life. I know it was kinda morbid but I did win a prize at work.
Emma
http://crzblue.mlblogs.com

Screwing with us? Nah, I’m convinced that God just has a sense of humor…alas, we usually don’t get the joke. Oh well.
http://blithescribe.mlblogs.com/

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