The Road to Despair Goes from El DeBarge to Youppi
Standing in the check-out line at my local grocer, I scanned the magazine rack hoping to find out if Khloe Kardashian had eaten herself to death or how drunk Jennifer Aniston got in Cabo while still thinking about Brad. Instead, I was subjected to an image I thought I’d blocked out 25 years ago:
Eldra “El” DeBarge.
On the cover of Jet.
Who’s Johnny… she said…
*cue the daydream montage*
I see Bert Blyleven record his 3,000th strikeout…
I see Bob Horner hit four homeruns in one game…
I see Mike Scott no-hit the Giants… the Red Sox come back to win the ALCS after being down 3 games to 1… Ray Knight skip like a schoolgirl on Mookie Wilson’s Bill Buckner nutmeggin’ dribbler…
…and… and, I… I see…
YOUPPI.
*snaps out of it*
(wailing) 
Oh, Youppi… oh, dear, dear Youppi… no!!! It’s not FAIR! It’s not fair that El DeBarge gets a comeback and you don’t… not fair that in 2010 you’re relegated to Montreal hockey duty while El DeBarge gets nominated for a Grammy.
A GRAMMY FOR JEEBUS’ SAKE!!!
And you wonder.
You wonder why I don’t believe in god.
No loving god would subject the altruistic baseball fan to such chronic despair!!!
So hate me ‘cuz I I think El DeBarge topped out in ’86, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Red State Blue State
He has 12 children?!?! Wow
Emma
http://crzblue.mlblogs.com
Still wondering if someone re-fashioned Youppi’s old costume amd he reappeared somewhere within the minor league system of the Washington Nationals.
He seemed like the slightly slower cousin of Slider, the Cleveland Indians spastic humor machine, but with some French Canadian inspired body language.
Or maybe he is retired to the hustle and bustle of some exotic locale scaring the native children who have never seen such a orange hairy beats that did not wear black socks with their sandals.
The word “Youppi” always sounded so cheery, enthusiastic and spirited.
Rays Renegade
http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com
I’m embarrassed to tell you I have no idea who El DeBarge is! I must be living in a cave or just missed that era altogether.
http://janeheller.mlblogs.com
As Emma said, 12 children?? Guess we know what he was doing during all that “lost time”.
Sue
http://rrrt.mlblogs.com/
El DeBarge must have been something only known to Americans of that era, cause i have no friggin idea who he is and based on the name wouldn’t want too….
and now to respond to your comment about gloating: I think I have been penalized… I have migrated my blog to philliesoutside.mlblogs.com and have since been locked out by mlblogs… so I can not blog, so I am going to have to reopen my old blog just to gloat… so coming soon to my old blog my gloating.. stay tuned… LOL
-peter
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com
Emma — I know! Dat boy can bang!
RR — It will always sound cheery… we have to keep him alive, if only in our imaginations.
Jane – Remember the movie Short Circuit? “Who’s Johnny…she said…”
Sue – Signs point to yes…
Prince – I don’t recall the Crazy Crab… so I doubt he could be better than the Quebecois.
–Jeff
Peter! They locked you out? How dare they!!! REVOLT! And kudos on the Lee stuff. I’m gonna go cry now.
–Jeff
The Giants mascot—-Crazy Crab—-was better than Youppi.
http://www.paullebowitz.com/
http://princeofny.blogspot.com/
Jeff, I never miss a Steve Guttenburg movie, but I do miss Youppi. Maybe he could come to the U.P. and be our mascot..(Yooper..Youppi…hmmm). Now I have to go rent ‘The Last Dragon’, and listen to Rhythem of the Night…thanks…
–Mike
‘Minoring In Baseball’
http://burrilltalksbaseball.mlblogs.com
U.P. and YOUPPI! I never made the connection. Brilliant!
–Jeff