Behold! The Tea Party Review!

tea.party.patriots.jpgAmidst the Pujolsian panic terrorizing the otherwise somber pre-spring training minds of baseball fanatics worldwide, we at RSBS nearly lost sight of an extremely exciting development inside the raucous Tea Party movement.  That’s right, folks!  The Tea Party is publishing their very own magazine!

And don’t worry, dear readers… as you have come to expect, we are a step ahead.  In fact, our loyal RSBS interns have already managed to infiltrate the teabagging ranks to bring us a sneak peak at some of the headlines from the inaugural issue!

Enjoy…

How to Incite Armageddon So We Can All Go Back to Sitting on Jesus’ Lap In Heaven
By Mark Williams
Monkey god, go home!  You can’t put a mosque next to or around the corner from a US American institution like McDonald’s!  That’s against God’s plan, to make everyone fat and die so they can go be with him again…

The Whosie-Whats-Its of Duping America

By Sarah Palin
Some people call it smoke and mirrors, I call it using catchphrases that hockey moms will be able to repeat after their husbands have beaten them for the night.  A bridge to nowhere… lamestream media… road to ruin… See!  If I can do it, anyone can, even Republicans…

How to Use the Term “Teabagging” to Your Advantage
By Pat McGroin, Kraven Moorehead & Howie Feltersnatche
First of all, work “teabagging” into your everyday lexicon. If we all teabag the way we should and are devout in our teabagging, the phrase will simply lose its funny connotation, especially if you’re teabagging your mother who might be teabagging your neighbor who might teabagging himself…

And finally, the feature article…

An Introduction to Hate: The N-Word, The F-Word and All Around Bigotry
By Dale Robertson
If it’s different than you, if it don’t look like you, if you don’t like it ‘cuz it ain’t you… hate it! That’s all ya gotta do. Holler at it and bark at it and scream at it and gobdabbit just hate it hate it hate it…

- – -

Not sure what the cover price is going to be, but I am sure that it won’t ever be forked over from my wallet.

Hate me ‘cuz Dale Robertson says to, just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

8 Comments

I read about the magazine yesterday and when I saw the cover I said, “It looks just like Good Housekeeping!” Maybe they’ll have articles about how to decorate your house and arrange flowers while organizing a militia.

http://www.janeheller.com/confessionsblog

Jane’s on the right track with “Good Housekeeping”; there can be a skin, make-up and nails section; how to cook a street squirrel; diet tips when the country collapses and you have no money for food. It’s a goldmine!!!
http://paullebowitz.com.previewyoursite.com/blog/?p=348

Jane — Good ideas! Maybe you can be editor! They wouldn’t know what to do if they were handed a good article! HA!
Prince — And your favorite business man Kevin Trudeau could sell it!
–Jeff

Are they headquartered in Boston?
For all I know the magazine could be full of useful articles on how to find honest politicians, doubtful, since they seem to profess at amassing a multitude of talent to back this magazine yet find it necessary to tell us all that ‘internet explorer’ doesn’t display the website correctly. So I am not getting the sort of money their web design people are, okay I’m not getting any money, but I have designed and built enough websites to know, you don’t put that on your website, you fix it, it’s not that hard even Homer could do it with a ‘book for dummies’… doh!

-peter
http://phillies-outside.mlblogs.com

A long time ago, I read a similar publication – Die Burger. It also objectified everyone who wasn’t a certain race, nationality and religion and imposed it’s will as the mouthpiece of a ruling party. That was until 1985, when it got smart about its editorial policy. It was a bit hard to read because it was in Dutch…no, wait Afrikaans.

Sadly, history repeats itself…in a sardonic way.

- Randy
http://heirloom.mlblogs.com

Over/Under on the phrase “Government takeover” in the first edition? One time per page.

You betcha.
http://wrigleyregular.mlblogs.com/

A Tea Party Magazine? Cool. It will just like Associated Press articles…but for the Onion! I imagine the Onion editors won’t have to change a single word before republishing many of the articles.
Kristen
http://blithescribe.mlblogs.com/

Peter — I’d say they’re headquartered in La-La Land, but what do I know?
Randy — Good connection to South Africa… I don’t understand how our society still tolerates hate the way it does. Sad.
Russel — I’d lay money on that. I’m takin’ the over.
Kristen — Haha! I’m positive The Onion will have a field day! Can’t wait!
–Jeff

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