A Very Serious Post
With all the serious things happening in the world right now, I want to write a serious post. President Obama’s jobs speech, the first Republican debate with Rick Perry, the continuing hunt for Gaddafi in Libya. Somebody turned the world up to 11 and I want to talk about it.
Then this happened:
As I sat down to write this Serious Post, I saw the following headline from SI.com: Dykstra pleads not guilty to indecent exposure. Seriously, how am I supposed to write something meaningful after reading a headline like that? This is the guy who seemingly developed some sort of idiot-savant investment system which unsurprisingly turned out to be less savant and more idiot. He somehow managed to follow that up with stealing a car, holding illegal substances and now indecent exposure.
I want you to think about this for a second, though. Over the course of two years, Lenny Dykstra placed multiple ads on CraigsList for domestic help and when these women responded and came by for an interview, he introduced them to Lenny Jr. instead. Lenny Dykstra. Sure, he’s a wild and crazy guy but I figured that meant he got really drunk at clubs and then brought home some girl half his age. This pants-dropping business sounds more like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most recent blockbuster, Revenge of the Wildebeest.
I still have one other question. How do you plead not guilty to multiple instances of indecent exposure? It’s not like this is a one time, he said/she said sort of thing. You brought multiple women to your home under false pretenses and then dropped trou. That’s staggering. I don’t think a jury is going to buy your excuses.
I’m sorry. This really was supposed to be a serious post. But you ruined that for me Lenny Dykstra. You ruined that.