LOLstros To-Do List

Can you believe we’re almost done with the 2011 season and I’ve hardly made any jokes about the Houston Astros?  I know.  I’m sorry, dear readers.  I dropped the ball.  Chalk it up as an E on your scorecard, boo like Mets fans and throw beer on me as I walk off the field.

It’s just… I have a real hard time picking on those who cannot defend themselves.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about them.  I do.  Sorta.  I mean, you think it’s easy for me to NOT make fun of the LOLstros?

IT’S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT!!!

But, to prove how much I care, I’ve prepared a small advisory to-do list of things that should get them on track so that I can once again slam their mere existence:

1.  Bring Craig Biggio out of retirement
Most people wouldn’t recognize a single name in the LOLstros lineup.  Also, 100 losses in a season isn’t just bad, it’s embarrassing.  I gotta think that an old, wobbly Craig Biggio would at least will them under 100 losses.  If nothing else, he could go to the dish and take an HBP to get on base, just like the old days.

2.  Move to the American League
Oh yeah.  Already happening.

3.  Woo Nolan Ryan away from the Rangers
Have you seen what Ryan has done with the Rangers?  And to think, the Rangers used to be the laughingstock of Texas baseball.

4.  Draft this kid:

And finally…

5.  Officially change their name to the “LOLstros
The space program is dead yo, and in the internet age, nothing is as catchy as a memey acronym that makes folks smile without even thinking about it.

See!  You’re LOLing right now!

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

5 Comments

An official name change to the LOLstros, eh? Something tells me their announcers better get used to saying, “We can has hitz now? *sounds of batter striking out* Oh noz!!”
And they aren’t moving to the AL West just yet. Schedules are out and there are no ‘stros on ours, LOL, As or otherwise.
– Kristen

Haha ‘we can has hits now?” I love it.

And IF the Astros do move to the AL, chances are they’d be even worse. If they lose 100 games playing the Cubs, Pirates and Reds, there is not much out there that can help them.

http://bluejaysnest.mlblogs.com/

I feel bad for them and this is coming from a Cubs fan!

Ron

Kristen — I like it. I can haz some too?!? And as for moving to the AL, it’s going to happen when they go to the balanced schedule…supposedly a big topic on the table for the next labor agreement talks.
Blue Jays Nest — No kidding. They’re gonna make the M’s and A’s look like Yankees/Red Sox.
Ron — Ha! You know secretly, deep down, you’re diggin the fact that they’re worse than the Cubs ;-)
–Jeff

I feel sorry for them!

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