You Are What You Eat
If you have a stomach strong enough to stand the neverending barrage of political headline craptitude, then you might already know that the Mitt Romney camp is eager to point out that Barack Obama ate dog as a child. Obviously, this is pretty important stuff. As the Republicans know, you are what you eat (is Astroglide edible?), and no doubt, Obama’s youthful ingestion of doggie treats certainly makes him unfit for a job as demanding as the presidency.
Which got me thinking about my favorite baseballers and what they eat. Sure, some probably go for too much hot dog and not enough arugula salad, but let us examine to make sure. The interns have graciously prepared some slides.
Jonathan Broxton
Eats…
McPizza. Right? Weighing 300 lbs. as a baseball player ain’t easy, but when you only pitch every once in a while and you eat crap like the above, then it’s easy as McPie.
Tom Gorzelanny
Eats…
Baby Ruth. Duh.
Josh Hamilton
Eats…
T*****s.
Dee Gordon
Eats…
Nothing??!! Dude is about to disappear!
And finally (you probably knew this was coming)…
Prince Fielder
Eats…
The known universe.
To be exact, this idea references a fascinatingly disturbing thought theorized by famed astrophysicist, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. One could look at it the way he explains — that an entire universe could be within each and every one of us. Or, you can think (like me), that dude doesn’t get that large unless he eats everything in the entire known universe.
Either way, don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.
Peace,
Jeff
Red State Blue State
Well, it’s nice to know while voting that Obama had some Scooby Snacks as a kid…I think that Hamilton has the best, uh, ‘taste’, though…Of course, we knew the jab at Prince was coming…
–Mike
Somehow I think the Hamilton diet is the baseball player diet of choice…and indeed, there have been some real boobs who’ve played this game quite well, so this you are what you eat diet is effective to boot. As for Gordon, I’m thinking he eats rabbits and cheetahs and quick breads and stuff…that plate was loaded a split second before the photo was snapped
– Kristen
Mike — Yes, I’ll have what Josh is having too, please
Kristen — You may be right, but it’s rare we see big leaguers that thin, so I just want to give him a sandwich.