Subsidizing Beauty

It has been quite a while since we last checked in with our friends in the baseball crazy nation of Venezuela and during that time, things have gone from bad to worse.  Obviously the bad could only be Venezuelan superhero Mr. Ozzie Guillen and his self-confessed love of Fidel Castro.  We expect that sort of thing from El Presidente Chavez but Ozzie?

Even worse, though, is what’s happening to prices and stocks of essential goods over there.  The point of this article is that the government has been forced to subsidize beauty supplies which is understandable in a country with so many beauty queens.  But what I found more interesting is this sentence: “Premium toilet paper…is expected to slowly disappear from the shelves.”

I don’t know about you but if you’ve ever spent time in a country like Venezuela, you know that premium toilet paper is more than a luxury.  It’s a necessity.  Its slow disappearance from the shelves also means the gradual disappearance of your colon.

Speaking of colons and Colons, what happens to Venezuelan baseball players under the Venezuelan subsidy regime?  Is there a clause in there to underwrite cowhide for baseballs, leather for gloves and maple for bats?  Let’s be honest, after beauty queens, Venezuela’s only real cash crop is baseball stars.  Unfortunately the article doesn’t address this topic but let’s keep our fingers crossed.

-A