October 2012

Mopping (and Muppeting) Up

Well, that escalated quickly.  Or maybe it’s more appropriate to say that de-escalated quickly.  Seriously, for a team that closed out the Yankees with a 8-1 win, how can you go 20 innings without a run?  If the 2006 loss to the Cardinals was embarrassing, this one will go down in the annals of humiliation.

However, now that we have that out of the way, the focus automatically shifts to the postseason awards.  Of course the big ones that Tigers’ fans are waiting on are the Cy Young and MVP awards but there’s an even bigger award up for grabs this year.

Now, I don’t think it would come as any surprise to readers of this blog that I’m hoping for an Obama win next week.  It’s unfortunate that the American electorate refuses to understand how much worse things would have been without an Obama presidency, and it’s a very real possibility that Willard and Captain Muppet could win this election.

I guess I’ll leave it at this.  Look at what the candidates say and have said.  See who has been consistent and figure out who you can trust.  And then get out and vote.

-A

P.S. One quick question.  Which is worse, getting swept or losing a 3-1 lead in a series?  Either way, I think it’s pretty safe to say that both teams repped by RSBS did a pretty phenomenal job of sh!tting the bed.

The 2012 World Series — The One We’ll All Soon Forget

That was bad for our health, man.  That was one awful, no good, TERRIBLE World Series… unless you’re a Giants fan, of course.  No lead changes til boring Game 4.  Hitting juggernauts (one wearing three crowns) silenced throughout by the likes of Zito and Vogelsong.  Justin Verlander s*%@ing the bed.

We just got a good dose of why football rules ‘Merica.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

(Image courtesy of B3TA)

The Filibuster

For Allen… Would you vote for Romney if doing so guaranteed the Tigers a World Series win?

Mandy
Niles, MI

______________

Religion and literature are full of characters who were willing to make a deal with the devil in return for some sort of gift.  Adam and Eve received the knowledge of good and evil while Faust sold his soul for earthly knowledge and pleasure.  The catch, of course, is that there are always consequences.  Adam and Eve lose paradise and the original Faust is carried to hell by the Devil himself.

Baseball isn’t immune from this phenomenon, the most popular example coming from the Broadway hit “Damn Yankees.”  And honestly, it’s no surprise that baseball fans (or fans of any other sport, for that matter) would be willing to sell their souls in exchange for their team winning a championship.  There’s a reason that supporters of sports teams are described via a shortened form of the word “fanatic.”

It’s a little different for me, though, especially when the deal is so clearly Faustian.  The Tigers have always been my team and I follow them from the beginning to the often painful end of the season every year, but my world does not fundamentally change with Tigers’ wins and losses.  Similarly, the argument could be made that the quadrennial presidential elections really don’t change much in a country that is held hostage by a two-party system, but I still believe that the President’s power to nominate judges and justices, decide foreign policy and choose how the laws of the nation will be executed means that his or her role is of supreme importance.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the stakes in this year’s presidential election, and any presidential election, are so much higher than one city winning the right to call themselves champion for a year.  If the Tigers lose, Medicare will continue to function, women will still have the right to choose and we aren’t going to suddenly find ourselves fighting a new war in Syria or Iran.  If Romney wins, these propositions all suddenly become much less certain.

I’d love to see the Tigers win the World Series, even if that looks less and less likely with every pathetic swing of the bat.  But there’s no way that I would risk my country’s future or the lives of my friends and family members on it.  Faust was willing to make a deal with the devil.  Me, I’m not so arrogant.

-A

Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster? Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing RSBSblog@gmail.com or by commenting below.

Binders, Bayonets, Tigers

First, Romney had his binders full of women:

Then, he added horses and bayonets:

Remind me again how this is still a race?

Admittedly, the Tigers could really use some horses and bayonets at this point if they want to be a little more competitive.  But please, just keep all of them, and especially the bayonets, really far away from Jeff right now.

-A

Fallout, Apathy, Toby

The names were different, yes, but the destruction was equally devastating.  Maybe even more.

I’m talking about the EPIC FAIL that was the 2012 NLCS, compared to the one that first stopped by heart 16 years ago.  Yes, in 1996 it was Todd Stottlemyre in the role of Lance Lynn, with Andy Benes as Chris Carpenter and Donavon Osborne as Kyle “I Ain’t A Big Game Pitcher” Lohse.

It was Ozzie’s last year, Tony’s first and the first time back to the World Series since 1987 and the uncomfortable early 90’s era Redbirds… or so I thought.

Up three games to one in the best of seven series against the Atlanta Braves, the jockstraps came off a team that simply couldn’t score any runs; and instead of spending the last days of October in complete ecstasy, the 17-year old me stayed locked away in a dark closet, reading Nietzsche by a flashlight, ultimately coming back to the same redundant question: WHAT… IS… THE POINT?

I still don’t know.  What is the point?  Why get so worked up over something so silly?  I wish I knew.  And, for RSBS‘ sake, I sure hope Mr. Krause doesn’t have to find out.  Not this year.  So yeah, um… go Tigers.

Also, Marco Scutaro is my Toby Flenderson.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

“Hope of the Earth”? WTF Is That?

Last night may have been the worst night.  Ever.

This…

Plus this…

Equals this:

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m off to drown my sorrows in the blood of… giants?  I got nothin’.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m barely hangin’ on here.

Peace,

Jeff

Foreign Policy in Disguise

Tonight’s foreign policy debate promises a healthy dose of the Middle East and what each candidate thinks the other one should do or should have done with respect to places like Libya, Iran and Saudi Arabia.  Romney will hammer Obama on Benghazi, completely ignoring the reality of the situation and the fact that a President should not be micromanaging things like security at a small consulate.  Obama will talk about energy independence while choosing to continue ignoring our infatuation with the Saudis and their oil despite that country’s status as serial human rights abusers and traffickers in persons.

It’s too bad we can’t focus on some of the good things.  Like the baseball diplomacy program that uses MLB players as ambassadors to baseball crazy countries in Latin America and attempted to use the game to thaw relations between the US and Cuba.  Or how about the exchange programs where female American athletes travel all over the world to teach basketball and soccer clinics to young women in other countries?

We aren’t going to hear about any of that tonight.  But we should.

-A

The Filibuster

Allen’s Tigers are in the Series and the Cardinals are still trying to earn their bid. If the Cards don’t make it, will you cheer for the Tigers?

Anne
Fort Royal, IN
_________________________

Hold it right there, Ms. Anne from Fort Royal.  Are you insinuating that the Cardinals might not make it to the World Series?  SHAME.  SHAME!  SHAME!!!

Oh the possibility does bring fear into my being, but THIS… IS… WAR!!!

I can not even begin to envision a Cardinals-less World Series, so to postulate me possibly rooting on THE ENEMY seems as blasphemous as using the Paul Ryan marathon calculator to report my times to my peers!

Will I root for the Tigers?  Pssh.  Will I also cut out my own stomach with a butter knife and eat it whole?  Will I also canvas door-to-door for the Republican party thumping a bible in people’s faces?  Will I eat at the Olive Garden?

Hell.  To the NO.

My only focus right now is TONIGHT.  In San Francisco.

This.  Means.  War.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeff

Have a topic you want to see us Filibuster? Send us your Filibuster questions by emailing RSBSblog@gmail.com or by commenting below.

RSBS Digest: Blowing Up

Whether we’re talking about getting drunk and hitting the Taco Bell drive-thru at 4 a.m. or the state of my phone after a fast-movin’ night at the Roxbury, this much is known: things blow up.

This much is ALSO known: nothing blows up quite like the internet.  I had a front row seat to the Twittersphere when Michael Jackson died (for real that time) and was amazed at how far-reaching this convoluted series of tubes really is.

And, as my melancholy and oft addled colleague Mr. Krause recently pointed out: proper internet explosions get a lot of fuel from fumbling politicians intent on keeping their multiple wives inside the three-ring trappings of a Trapper Keeper.

But the REAL explosion has yet to come.  Hopefully, it will come tonight — Friday night.  Hopefully the Cardinals will wrap up the San Francisco Giants’ futile efforts, kick back and wait for those cute little kitties to come to town.

That’s right, my fellow US Americans.  An RSBS World Series is on the horizon…

Happy Friday!

Jeff

Yeah? Well, Leyland’s Got Binders Full of Baseball Players

The long delay during game 3 of the NLCS left a void that simply could not be filled by the WNBA playoffs.  And then when it became apparent that the Tigers would have to postpone their opportunity to bring this year’s edition of the Evil Empire to a close, I had to face reality.  No baseball for the evening.

However, this left me a little time to follow up on my favorite instant meme from Tuesday night’s debate: Binders Full of Women.

It’s amazing how in less than a day we’ve gone from:

to:

all the way to:

Rain may have halted baseball for one evening but it can’t stop the internet.  Or Mitt Romney and his binders.

-A

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