Charlie and the Psycho Factory

To say that this season was disappointing for the Philadelphia Phillies would be an understatement, and many Phillies’ fans put the blame for this season directly on the shoulders of Charlie Manuel.  That’s not really too surprising considering the notoriously horrible Philadelphia fanbase and their willingness to scapegoat anyone for the slightest straying from what they consider to be the true path.  They’re a horrible cult gone even more horribly wrong.  It’s like a bunch of David Koresh’s all got together and made Philadephia their own personal Waco.  At this point, we’re just waiting for the FBI to torch the place.

But I don’t think we should feel sorry for Charlie Manuel.  Why?  Here’s one reason:

Thanks to Young Charlie Manuel’s soothing presence and weather-predictive hinge joints, he remains to this day the world’s only certified Tornado Whisperer.

Yeah, and that’s just the beginning.

Personally, I think the only way this gets better is if Charlie climbs up to the announcer’s booth and sings “Don’t Cry for me, Philadelphia.”  I’m pretty sure young Charlie Manuel would do it.  Maybe even in Japanese.

-A

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