Results tagged ‘ AL East ’

My Super Secret Middle of the Week Wish

pedro_zimmer.jpgYou know what this baseball season is lacking? A good brawl. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw a baseball brawl that really made me stand up and cheer. I mean, there are classics like Pedro taking out Don Zimmer and Jose Offerman charging the mound with a bat. But these happened years ago. Where’s the good stuff these days?

I’m not saying I’ve lost hope. The next few days will be all about the Yankees and Red Sox renewing their rivalry and we all know there’s no love lost between those two teams. Maybe Beckett throws some high heat and Melky takes exception. Or it could be Mariano throwing behind Youkilis and Big Papi comes charging out of the dugout to right that wrong. It could happen.

But most likely we’ll just see some baseball. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, New York and Boston squaring off is a time-tested showdown. Once again they’re one and two atop the AL East and seem to be heading for another late-season showdown.

Is it wrong, though, that I want to see the fire? I love the idea of A-Rod saying the wrong thing to Papelbon and the whole thing disintegrating into yelling, shoving and then flying fists. Maybe it’s because I’m from Michigan and the only thing we have going for us there is hockey. But Papelbon and Rodriguez throwing down brings a smile to my face.

Maybe, though, it’s just a natural reaction to other world events. When female Russian handballers are going at it like Tyson and Holyfield while baseball players are meekly sitting the bench when their teammates get beaned, well, you know something is a little mixed up in the world. What, you don’t believe me? Well, believe this:

My money is on the blonde.

-A

Credits:
-Video via Deadspin

The Apocalypse Wears Number 21

dontrelle willis.jpgMaybe Dick Cheney is right.  We’re all gonna die.  And soon.

Dear readers, the end-time omens are racking up: the Toronto Blue Jays are atop the AL East; Wanda Sykes is somehow relevant; and Dontrelle Willis is back in the big leagues.

That’s right, folks.  D-Train (or “Big Black Baby Jesus” as my Tiger-lovin’ colleague, Mr. Krause, likes to call him) has crawled his way back into Detroit’s starting rotation.  And on Wednesday, we will all get the chance to see (and perhaps mock) the pitcher he has become after his long soul searching journey to recapture the glory days of 2003 and 2005.

In other words: we are all going to die.

Because, in my humble yet accurate opinion, Willis lost it a long time ago.

Remember last year when he went 0-2 with a 9.38 ERA and walked half of US America?

I do.

Okay, so he’s gone 25 2/3 innings with a 3.85 ERA in the minors this year.  Well, lahdy frickin’ dah.  If Willis really has rediscovered himself, he should be putting up lights out numbers against the young’ins down on the farm.  Instead, Tigers’ skipper Jim Leyland is calling him up because:


“He’s throwing pretty much around the plate all the time…”
 (MLB Story Link)

Pretty much around the plate.  Hm.  Okay.  Well, that sounds like a perfectly good reason to throw him back into the lions den and, you know, hope for the best.  I mean, Rick Ankiel threw “pretty much around the plate” during the 2000 playoffs.  So did I during my legion ball days of the mid 90s.  Hell, my little sister could throw “pretty much around the plate” if it had a picture of Zac Efron on it.

At least D-Train has the right lackadaisical attitude going into his first start of the year:


“There are worse things than playing baseball, you know?”
(Morning Call Story Link)

Yes, you are correct, Dontrelle.  There are worse things than playing baseball… like not being able to find the strike zone while playing baseball or doing shots with Amy Winehouse at an open bar or admitting that Dick Cheney may have a point.

In this case, I’m going to hope that I’m wrong… just don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

The Filibuster

This weekend we saw a series pitting the team with the best record in
the league against the team with the worst record. At what point in the
season do you think we’ll see this again and which teams will take part
the next time around?

–Allen
__________________________________________

Bush_Nats.jpgAs long as the Washington Nationals continue to be a baseball franchise (sorta), you can be quite sure that this scenario will pop up once again.  Will they be playing the MLB best Cardinals next time?  The Dodgers?  The Blue Jays in June during interleague play?

The truth is: I have absolutely no clue.

Because so far nothing this season has been on my radar: that the Cardinals’ piecemeal bullpen could hold itself together through April… that the Blue Jays would find a way to win in the AL East… that no one wants Pedro Martinez…

But in the end, one thing will always remain certain: The Washington Nationals are a national joke.

After some hardcore number-crunching analysis, one might conclude that their suckage is rooted in their inherent identity crisis:
 

  • Are we the Expos?
  • Are we the Senators who are now the Twins?
  • Are we the Nationals who were the Expos?
  • Are we the other Senators who are now the Rangers?

Or perhaps it stems from their dizzying closet of uniform combinations:

washington nationals uniforms.jpgWho knows? Maybe the Nats are an embarrassment because they find this food stand inside Nationals Park to be a family-friendly establishment:

senators sausages.jpgDear readers, I could go in a million different directions with that snafu of a baseball bodega — none of them good — but I will save you (and myself) from the certain discomfort and unpleasant visualization it would cause.

Whatever the reason for the Nationals’ lack of success, I must admit how sad it was for me — as a baseball fan — to see such a beautiful ballpark only a quarter full for a Friday night game.  It was disappointing too that there were more Cardinal fans in attendance than Nats fans and that the loudest cheers I heard all weekend were in response to the Capitals vs. Penguins playoff hockey game — the favorable D.C. score of which was posted on the jumbotron in between innings, thus rousing Washingtonians into a fervent coup d’etat aimed towards building a bigger hockey arena while at the same time finding a more thirsty suitor for the oh-so-lowly Nats, all of their prior nicknames, logos and dysfunctional sausages.

So far, no takers.

Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m right.

Peace,

Jeffy

(Senators Sausages image courtesy of Wonkette)
(Uniform image courtesy of Wikipedia)

RSBS TV: 2009 AL East Preview

Produced, shot and edited by Atonal Studios.

Special thanks to Theo Roll.

Very special thanks to Alex Rodriguez for giving MLBloggers blog fodder for life.

(For best playback results, watch in High Quality)

- – - –

**Programming Note**

Tuesday and Wednesday’s posts will both be the result of a small experiment between Mr. Lung and Mr. Krause.  The title for each post will be the exact same and was co-created by each constituent in an odd writing exercise known to literary dorks as “build-a-sentence”.  Mr. Lung wrote a word, then Mr. Krause wrote a word, Mr. Lung wrote a word, etc., until there was a complete sentence that sorta made sense. 

Stay tuned and see the true difference between these two baseball-politico minds and find out just where that co-created title will take them, whether it be down the same jaded street or off into themes yet undiscovered like Red Sox fans who never complain about anything (yeah right, like there is such a thing).

You know what we mean.

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